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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28129269">Chamomile Tea</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyblanc_RU/pseuds/Ladyblanc_RU'>Ladyblanc_RU</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Chamomile tea [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Author is a non native speaker, Domestic Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Idiots in Love, Kinda?, Lambert Being a Little Shit (The Witcher), M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Not Beta Read we die like stregobor fucking should've, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slice of Life, Soft Eskel (The Witcher), Soft Jaskier | Dandelion, Strangers to Lovers, The Amazing Devil (Band) References, The Amazing Devil Lyrics, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, please be nice to me</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 01:07:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>29,911</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28129269</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyblanc_RU/pseuds/Ladyblanc_RU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Eskel was having problems at his work lately. Terrible boss delayed his salary and was making Eskel overwork himself without paying. Forced to find a cheaper place to leave at, with Geralt's help, he manages to find one with a roommate. Little did he know that his shitty luck would cross his path with someone like Jaskier.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eskel/Jaskier | Dandelion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Chamomile tea [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2100816</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. That flat we rented</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The wind was howling outside of a small teashop. Blizzard had been raging for a while now making all citizens hide in their houses or practically any building to find some warmth in such a cold evening. There were a number of tables occupied at the teahouse. Customers talked to each other exchanging recent news, laughing, or just chatting about everything and nothing at the same time. Tasty smells of various kinds of teas were flowing in the air mixing into something cozy and comfortable, though if you tried hard enough you could still smell each of them separately. Two men were sitting at one of the tables, the one in the furthest corner of the room. One of them had perfectly white hair like all that snow outside and was somewhat nervously watching a clock which hung at the opposite wall. The other one had charcoal black hair and was almost lazily sipping his tea with wine sometimes whining that this thing wasn’t strong enough to make him drunk.</p>
<p>Suddenly, the front door opened. A small bell cried softly announcing the arrival of a new customer. A woman working at the counter lifted her head from a book she was filling and smiled at the figure. “Welcome to our teahouse. Are you up for a cup or a teapot?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” the customer answered, his voice deep and slightly hoarse. “I would like a cup of ginger tea with some lemon as well.”</p>
<p>The woman smiled brighter again; a card banged softly on the screen of the device in front of her. With practiced moves, she had everything filled in no time. “Alright, one cup of ginger tea with lemon. Would you like to have lemon added or on the side?”</p>
<p>“Added.”</p>
<p>He paid for his order and after a couple of minutes waiting had a steaming cup of beautifully smelling tea in front of him. With a small 'thank you' he walked to the table where two men were sitting. Now they were watching him with different expressions: white-haired with something that looked like worry while the brunet was clearly ready to tease the newcomer. As soon as he took his coat and hat off, the brunet grunted teasingly.</p>
<p>“Getting old, Eskel? Can’t tell the time in your age anymore?”</p>
<p>“Fuck off, Lambert,” Eskel growled tiredly at Lambert, taking his seat. “that bastard pulled me from home claiming that another cook was ill. Called Cathy, she said that he gave her a weekend claiming I was warned.”</p>
<p>“Were you at least paid for that?” Lambert asked ready to cling to Eskel again but, when he just shook his head heavily, whistled and remarked. “A bastard, indeed. Remind me, why the hell can’t you just change the job?”</p>
<p>Eskel sighed. They had this conversation for a dozen times already, and all the time the answer to Lambert's question was the same. “Because I’m bound with him by contract,” he growled annoyingly. If it wasn’t for that piece of paper he signed to get hired, he would’ve changed the job ling ago. Unfortunately for him, things weren't easy for him in the slightest. “I’ve told you countless times that I can’t leave him even if I want to. Not until a beginning of the next year, or I will have to pay him a huge amount of money I don’t and won’t have. That piece of shit is making sure I won’t leave by delaying my salary. Even had to start looking for a cheaper place to leave.” he coughed by the end of the sentence and took a long sip from his cup to soothe his throat a little. This cold was killing him no less than an awful boss.</p>
<p>“That asshole,” Lambert growled placing his cup with a thud on the table. “Just allow me and Geralt to take care of him, I’m sure after a hit or two he will eagerly have you fired.”</p>
<p>Eskel just shook his head negatively. The white-haired man— Geralt — spoke up, “Lambert, you can’t deal with everything by violence,” he pointed out calmly ignoring Lambert’s rumble that his clients wouldn’t agree with him. “And Eskel, if you need a cheap place to leave, I know a guy who’s looking for a second renter to his apartment. Already found one, so if you want to move in, you’ll have to call him today or tomorrow,” he suggested writing a number on a napkin.</p>
<p>“Thank you Geralt,” Eskel thanked his older brother taking the napkin. He folded it carefully and hid it in the front pocket of his jeans where it was less likely to get wet because of the blizzard outside. Well, with the apartment problem solved, he could focus on something more pleasant. “now, how you two have been doing.”</p>
<p>“Oh, have I told you that story about a client I had recently? The one which wanted to beat a debt out of his friend?” Lambert beamed sounding both proud and excited about it. Eskel rolled his eyes fondly. His younger brother was taking various contracts starting from threatening someone ending up with a beating. Neither he nor Geralt understood why their brother couldn’t find something more peaceful, though Lambert seemed contented with his choice, so they had to accept it. “Now, it was hilarious…”</p>
<p>Eskel allowed himself to close his eyes and drift into the story, letting go of all his problems. He could deal with them later, for now, he wanted to just spend some time with his brothers. They didn’t hang out often enough during the week, and even on Saturdays, like today, he sometimes got a late shift from his a-hole boss or Geralt would be made to help their father at his place. A small smile touched his lips. Three of them loved Vesemir deeply but whenever anyone of them had to help to clear all the snow around the old man’s house it was a nightmare. Though, he figured, he would’ve chosen to do that than going to work.</p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>The next morning after his meeting with his brothers Eskel contacted the man Geralt was talking about yesterday and got interviewed for the apartment. It wasn’t much of an interview, per se. The second he said he was calling from Geralt, the man accepted him without much testing. Only asked how he was feeling about living with someone else. He had nothing against that, so the owner filled him with the details about the apartment itself, the building, its rules, and all that stuff. He also told Eskel that his ‘roommate’ was also a male and was informed about his arrival. After a long talk on the phone, Eskel got his mere belongings packed and drove to his new place of living itching to have everything done before his boss decided to pull him from his only weekend. His furniture would arrive in a day or two, and he hoped he would be at home to pick it up.</p>
<p>It took some time to find a parking spot near the building and not the other end of the city. With his car parked and two boxes of things in his hands, he walked towards his new home. He was feeling strange about this whole idea. The place itself was good, he couldn’t say anything against that. Their city was green enough itself, but this block of flats was located in an old part, where there were even more woods around than anywhere else. The building was also old, no surprise there, though as far as he could tell by its look, it was well-maintained and not going to crumble on top of him in his sleep as well which was good too. What made him somehow nervous was the perspective of living with someone. Eskel hadn’t shared with anyone since his graduation, and he couldn’t name that one a good experiment. He lived in a students’ dorm with five other boys in a room that could barely fit one. There were parties and drinking games such as beer pong and Lambert’s favorite: drink so much that you won’t wake up the next day. Actually, as he was thinking about it now cramped in a small elevator, that time wasn’t necessarily bad. It was just him slowly stopping participating in those ridiculous games and becoming more steady with his drinks. And believe him, seeing a bunch of young men lying across the tiny room barely responding to the reality around them was not good at all.</p>
<p>He would be okay if his neighbor was a little loud but not some young rake who knew only how to be an asshole and drunk. Though, maybe, he would agree even on that if only to have a roof over his head. A cheap roof he might add. Seriously, renting this flat was worth half the money he spent on his previous one. And it was including electricity and water. He might need to thank Geralt and a lot for this. Eskel doubted he would’ve found such a good place for worth this payment so soon. And not even a neighbor could spoil this.</p>
<p>There was a quiet, almost inaudible, rang and then an elevator stopped on the seventeenth floor. The floor wasn’t anything special. Slightly cracked paint on the walls was missing in a few places, and two iron doors were locking ways to the corridors with flats. With a fair amount of cursing and balancing, Eskel managed to open the door making a mental note to clarify to the couriers where to go. Delivery was planned for tomorrow, so for now he would have to do with the furniture and utensils inside. He entered the corridor and was instantly greeted with darkness. Grumbling slightly under his breath he turned on a flashlight on his phone to have a proper look at numbers at flats' doors. Luckily enough, the one he needed wasn’t too far.</p>
<p>He stood for a moment in front of it waiting for something to happen or maybe someone to walk out. He really should’ve gotten the phone number of his neighbor to get some help. <em>Well, too late for that now.</em> In the end, he stopped on ringing a doorbell. If there was anyone inside, he would at least warn them and, maybe, even have the door opened. He wasn’t a mole and would really like not to have to put keys blindly into the lock.</p>
<p>For a couple of moments, everything was quiet, and Eskel started to think there was no one home when suddenly there was a loud voice coming from inside. “Coming!”</p>
<p>It sounded high and loud enough allowing him to safely assume that Eskel’s roommate was, probably, younger than him. At least they weren’t drinking during the weekends, judging that they seemed sober enough to be awake at nine o’clock on Sunday. There was a sound of a key being turned in the lock, and in a second it opened revealing the mysterious man. Eskel really wished there was a source of light because the silhouette in front of him looked promising. The man seemed to have broad shoulders, though not as broad as his, and was only a head shorter. The stranger in front of him smiled and greeted Eskel cheerfully.</p>
<p>“Hi, you must be Eskel, right? Come in, Axel told me you were coming. Up for a cup of tea and a small talk?”</p>
<p>Eskel was slightly taken aback by the man’s chattering. There weren’t many people who would be happy to see a stranger at their doorstep this early in the morning. Thankfully two boxes he was holding saved him from answering anything before walking in. He entered the apartment and guided by his talking companion found his room. It seemed like his silence wasn’t confusing the man near him in the slightest, and occasional grunts he put in pretending to be listening only urged the man to continue. Well, he waited for much worse. He could work with that. Eskel entered his room and placed his boxes near the entrance finally having a good look around. It was a spacious room with a bed placed just on the left of the door. There were a table and a shelf with books as well. A standing mirror and a drawer found their place on his right hand just in the corner.</p>
<p>It took him some time to unpack and discover a small hole in wallpapers, though it was such a minor nuisance that he didn’t care. The man left him alone to have time for himself which Eskel was grateful for. By now he could point out a couple of things about his neighbor, and all of them were, actually, positive. He was young, just as Eskel predicted, cheerful man who liked to talk, though still knew when to disappear and give space. Eskel also didn’t notice any bottles or smell of alcohol in the apartment, and overall, it was rather clean a tidy which was a plus in itself. Well, who knew, it might be a good experience, after all.</p>
<p>He changed into something more comfortable and walked out of the room. He was instantly greeted with a strong smell of tea and a soft humming coming just from the kitchen. Now on the light he could have a better look at the man who was now busily preparing a pot and some sweets to go with it. He had messy brown hair which was constantly falling over his eyes making him break a soft tune and push it away. Before Eskel could study the rest of him he caught a glimpse of the man’s gaze, and gosh, those eyes were something. Bright blue like a clear sky in summer they almost shone in semi-darkness. Eskel would never admit that he stared for a moment, but he did. He just couldn’t help it. Every movement the man in front of him made was somewhat elegant, and a melodic voice filled his mind, dragging it with it.</p>
<p>“Oh, you’re here,” the man said catching Eskel’s glance on himself with a small smile. He wiped his hands at soft pants he was wearing and held one out for a handshake. “I believe we didn’t have a proper introduction, yet. I’m Jaskier.”</p>
<p>“Eskel.” he shook Jaskier’s small hand noticing how soft and fragile it was in his big calloused from various work palm.</p>
<p>“Nice to meet you!” Jaskier smiled wider, “What about a cup or two? I’ve made some chamomile tea. I don’t have much to drink it with, just some cookies. If it’s fine, I get that…”</p>
<p>“It’s fine,” Eskel said softly seeing that Jaskier started to babble nervously. It was a bit cute if he was honest. That thought made him frown slightly. Luckily, Jaskier was too busy filling both the cups and the silence with his chattering to notice anything.</p>
<p>“I’ll have to leave in a couple of hours for work. I have a long shift to twelve, do you have keys?” he asked taking a seat at the table. Eskel hummed affirmatively and joined him. The tea in his cup smelled good and tasted even better. Jaskier added some honey in it instead of sugar which gave the drink that pleasant taste of flowery. “Great! There is some food in the fridge, I will bring more after work.”</p>
<p>“No need, I have nothing to do today, can take that in my hands.”</p>
<p>“If it’s not a bother.” Jaskier smiled again. Eskel wandered for a brief moment whether it was a warmth coming from tea or the man in front of him. He felt slightly confused about this and lowered his gaze, suddenly interested in cookies on the table. Even if Jaskier noticed it he didn’t mention it.</p>
<p>“It’s not,” he said after a moment taking a sip from his cup again.</p>
<p>“Alright,” Jaskier nodded drinking some himself. “let’s have a small talk, get to know each other,” Eskel only grunted in response to that. Usually, people were not interested in getting to know him, and even if they did his appearance had always scared them off. Apparently, the young man in front of him was an exception, “what do you do for a living?”</p>
<p>“I’m a chef in the restaurant. Maybe, you know the one at the center. Fancy as fuck, though the owner is a real moron.”</p>
<p>Jaskier laughed loudly at this joke. His bright and clear laughter made Eskel’s heart skip a beat. Never had he heard anything like this. It was nothing like deep rumbling laughers of his brother’s or shy giggles of waitresses who worked with him. This one reminded him about a child’s laugh. Like when you tell a small kid a funny story. Thinking of which, Jaskier was a bit childlike as a whole which was not a bad thing, quite the opposite. Nowadays seeing someone who wasn’t affected by grumpy adulthood was a rare thing.</p>
<p>While he was thinking, Jaskier wiped a tear from his eye and continued eagerly, “I know who you’re talking about! Once I and my band had a performance in your restaurant, something about a couple of months ago, but that bastard paid us minimum amount claiming that our music was distracting his workers,” he threw his hands in the air in mocking annoyance. “Can you believe that? What’s wrong with that old man?”</p>
<p>Eskel smiled slightly. He remembered that evening. Despite that day being one of the busiest, every couple of minutes he had to hurry up his cooks or other staff who were often found glued to a small window kitchen had. Though the music was perfectly heard even with doors closed, and he really enjoyed it. “Can’t blame him here, actually. Maybe he was wrong to cut your payment, but your music was, in fact, irresistible. I really liked it, a shame I had to be the responsible one and keep things going while others tried to peek at your band.”</p>
<p>“I’m sure you did an amazing job,” ends of Jaskier’s mouth perked up into a shy smile, his cheeks slightly red. The man looked so adorable Eskel had to busy himself with studying the teacup in front of him.</p>
<p>There was a small pause when suddenly a phone rang. He looked at Jaskier who picked it and answered. He could see how the smile faded on the musician’s face turning into a slight frown. “slow down, Made. What happened, again?” he got up from the table and started pacing nearby. There must’ve been something important said on the other end of the phone because Jaskier sprinted to the hallway and started to put on warmer clothes. “okay, how much time do I have before he changes his mind? Fuck, I have to be fast. Just hold him for as long as you can.”</p>
<p>Eskel frowned as well and followed Jaskier into the hallway. The man was jumping on his one leg trying to pull his shoe on while at the same time listening to whatever was said to him on the phone. Jaskier stopped only for a moment to give him an apologetic look before he rushed out of the apartment continuing his conversation. “I know that he is prickly, but I can’t fly either!”</p>
<p>He closed the door and returned to the kitchen where two cups were still standing. With a small sigh, Eskel started to clean up still feeling that charming and calming scent of chamomile in the air as he washed the dishes and emptied a teapot. His head was full of different thoughts brought by his talk with Jaskier and the overall moving, so he decided to head for a walk outside to clear his thoughts.</p>
<p>And even if later he still found himself rewinding in his whole conversation with the musician smiling slightly, he would rather die than say it out loud.</p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>Eskel hadn’t seen Jaskier for over two days after that sudden disappearance. He even started to think about getting a phone number from the owner just to make sure nothing had happened. It surprised him at first, considering both he and Jaskier were nobody to each other barely acquaintances. Though for some reason he couldn’t rid himself of those thoughts and was relieved to find the man two days later. He was just coming from work when he spotted a familiar brown hair on the couch in the living room. When he closed the door behind himself, Jaskier jerked and turned to look at him. For a second there was confusion written on Jaskier’s face but when Eskel stepped on the light, it disappeared changing into a small smile.</p>
<p>“Oh, you’re here,” the musician got up from the couch and walked to the small column near the corridor watching Eskel undress from his heavy coat. “sorry I disappeared so fast, a friend of mine called me. The director of the theater decided to give us a chance and allow us to perform in his building in a month, just on the New Year Eve.”</p>
<p>He hummed ant the news. “Good for you. Heard it was hard to get to perform in the theatre. It must be a great opportunity for your band.”</p>
<p>Eskel got a small smile in return for his words. Jaskier nodded then and moved slightly away not to get his way as he walked out to the kitchen. “It really is! This theatre is quite famous even outside of our city. If at least a quarter of tickets gets sold, it still will be one of the best advertisements of our band.” he grinned proudly and sat on the chair, his blue eyes still watched Eskel’s every movement with some kind of excitement. It felt almost as if Jaskier was happy to tell him. As if him knowing was important. Eskel brushed these thoughts not allowing himself to think too much about it.</p>
<p>“But I will tell you a small secret,” Jaskier leaned closer and whispered confidently. “I’m sure that we’ll have a full house. You see, there were many questions online about us performing again. People love our music, it’s just a matter of time before we get popular enough.”</p>
<p>“Aren’t you afraid that popularity will ruin your devotion to the songwriting? Working on a bigger audience surely will affect the process of creating.”</p>
<p>Jaskier actually laughed at that. Eskel frowned slightly watching the other man thinking what he might’ve said that was so funny, “Oh, darling, it will take ages before anything has even a chance to spoil my songs. They’re everything I have aside from a handful of friends and a handsome roommate,” Jaskier winked and continued not noticing any confusion coming from Eskel. “yes, working on a larger audience will change things and considerably, bringing new worries about things running smoothly, for instance. Though the quality will always stay where it’s now because no matter what music should bring emotions. Besides, I’m simply too in love with all of this to insult songwriting by creating something not perfect. Guess I have that slight perfectionist streak in me.”</p>
<p>“Hmm,” Eskel hummed considering everything he had just heard. Jaskier sounded sincere, not a trace of lie escaped his mouth which made him even more amazed by this man than he was before. He also had a passion of his own, otherwise, he wouldn’t be spending every day at the hot kitchen cooking various dishes for customers. Eskel had always been excited about cooking, and if Jaskier had a similar feeling to his music, there was no way anything would get in his way. “If things are what you name them, then you won’t have any trouble with keeping up.”</p>
<p>“I will never. Anyway, let’s change the subject, shall we? As lovely as talking about my person is, I want to know a bit more about you.” Jaskier moved closer to the table, his eyes bright with clear curiosity. He placed his elbows on the table and then gently landed his chin on his palms watching Eskel wash some vegetables in the sink. “For example, how long have you been cooking? Today I’ve tried some pasta you made, hope it’s okay with you by the way, and it was so good. I haven’t tried anything like this before.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay,” he hummed focusing on the task at hand and not the clear flattery in Jaskier’s voice. A big knife easily cut through the thin skin of a tomato and started to knock softly against the wooden board. “I made it for both of us, after all.”</p>
<p>He easily moved to another vegetable feeling musician’s intent gaze on his back. Eskel coughed covering his mouth with a hand. He could hear the man behind him move suddenly from the sharp sound like he was pulled from his thoughts. There were a loud crack and mild cursing. Eskel turned to make sure Jaskier was still okay and chuckled slightly at the picture in front of him. Jaskier balanced carefully on the back legs of the chair trying not to fall while at the same time looking both confused and mildly scared. He lifted a brow at the musician who only smiled at him still being in that weird position. <em>Doesn’t he have any self-preservation instinct?</em></p>
<p>They looked at each other for a long moment before Eskel asked softly leaning on the counter. “Need any help?” Jaskier shook his head chuckling and easily rocked on the chair returning it at all fours and waved his hand asking him to continue. He rolled his eyes fondly and continued. “As for your question, I dunno, actually. Been doing it since I could remember myself. Always in the kitchen doing something, experimenting. The biggest part of the recipes I use outside the restaurant I learned at home from my father. As for the work, then whatever the order is.”</p>
<p>“I see. Is it only you or you have siblings? I have two sisters and a brother, all of them younger than me, though sweet Melitele, it doesn’t stop us from hating each other. Whoever said that growing up with siblings is better than being an only child was short on his marbles. One time they three united together against me and moved all furniture in my room one centimeter to the left. I’ve been crashing into all sorts of things before figured out something was wrong.” Jaskier laughed softly at the memory, making Eskel smile at the sound feeling everything inside him getting warmer. “Our parents had to break so many fights, I’m still surprised they allow me to visit them from time to time.”</p>
<p>“Seems it’s a trait of quite a lot of families,” Eskel grinned remembering all the times when he, Geralt, and Lambert were fighting over something. On some of those occasions, Vesemir had to bark on them before they fully stopped terrorizing each other. Though those moments of peace never lasted long enough. Sooner than later another fight would start the cycle all over again. “I have two brothers myself with me being the middle. During the whole childhood, we were at each other’s throats. Now things are better. Sometimes we still argue, though simply out of habit than any mean thought. And if I'm honest, I doubt anything can change that.”</p>
<p>“Lucky you, I’ve never had a chance to make up with mine. Anything you like to do aside from cooking? Any hobbies?”</p>
<p>“I like good music, don’t have a favorite type, can listen to almost anything as long as I like it. Enjoy reading as well.” Eskel said finishing his salad. He turned on his heels easily swiping dirty board and knife into the sink and placed a bowl on the table. He purposely made more than he usually ate hoping that Jaskier would join him. And if the soft rumble of the other man’s stomach was any indication, he would. “Want to have a bite?”</p>
<p>Jaskier smiled and nodded adding a small joke. “Well, I guess my tummy decided for me, but I’d really like to try.”</p>
<p>Eskel hummed and found a couple of plates on the shelves. Their conversation died letting them prepare everything for dinner in silence. It was comfortable, surprisingly, filled only with a crackle of utensils against the hard surface of the table, and a soft sound of drinks being poured in the glasses. When everything was settled and they both were stuffing delicious leaves into their mouths. He could hear Jaskier making small content sounds after each bite eagerly moving to another one. A smile crossed his face again as he watched the man in front of him clearly enjoy the food. Eskel felt warmth spilling inside of him again. If all it took to make Jaskier this happy was this, he would eagerly cook for the musician.</p>
<p>“Oh gosh, Eskel, this is so good,” As if reading his thoughts Jaskier mumbled through the mouthfuls, “I’m a shit cook myself, and this is like the creation of a good herself. I will sell my soul to eat something as tasty every day.”</p>
<p>He scratched his scars thoughtfully at Jaskier’s flattery. He heard similar words all the time from customers and his own family. But for some reason when they were coming from this young musician in front of him it made a whole different impact on Eskel. Smiled crossed his face again as he said. “Soul is quite a lot, can’t charge you that much,” he could see Jaskier open his mouth to say something, probably, disagree and finished quickly. “a simple thank you will be enough.”</p>
<p>“As you wish, dear cooking god, though I will make sure to tell you often how good you are at this,” the musician winked and eagerly put another fork of leaves in his mouth. They once again fell into the silence until Jaskier asked interestingly. “you said you like reading. What book have you been reading lately?”</p>
<p>“Decided to reread good old classic. Currently working my way through the poetry of the nineteenth century. I haven't touched it since my school years, and now it felt like finally the right time to fix that.”</p>
<p>“My, my, that era was a real golden age for whole literature. Though I can’t agree with all themes authors of that time dug in in their creations. I’m not against the theme of romance as a whole, I’m a hopeless romantic myself, but sometimes they cross a certain line showing all of that unrequited love and men being real morons to the women,” Jaskier sighed dramatically placing a hand over his forehead. “my poor heart just can’t stand that.”</p>
<p>Eskel chuckled softly making the musician grin in satisfaction. “Can’t say I disagree with that, but people tend to love those. At least they did at that time. What about you? We’re not in the nineteenth century now, but even in your songs, there’s a sad line or two occasionally. How do you deal with that?”</p>
<p>“Guess, it simply got used to it. You see, that’s just a sad reality of things,” Jaskier smiled almost sadly and touched his left hand briefly. “all our songs are good because they were written on strong emotions. Love, hatred, anger, sadness, and many, many others. If there aren't many pleasant emotions, there won't be many happy lines either.”</p>
<p>Jaskier lifted his hand to continue eating but was stopped by Eskel’s second one. They looked at each other, blue eyes into amber ones with a mixture of emotions Eskel couldn’t place. There was a surprise, a glint of something unknown and an endless sea of well-hidden, though still visible sadness and many others changing eat other really fast. Without much of a thought, he said slowly, his deep voice rumbled in the silence of the room around them.</p>
<p>“Who knows, maybe there will be light in your life soon too. Our life is a zebra, they say, guess you just need to walk a bit more.”</p>
<p>He got a small smile in return before Jaskier got up breaking the touch of their hands and walked to his chair. A bit confused he opened his hands and hugged him placing his chin on Eskel’s shoulder. Eskel hugged him back carefully, trying not to break the small man in the process.</p>
<p>“Thank you. I hope that will happen. We all deserve some kindness after this tough year, don't we?”</p>
<p>Eskel only hummed in response. This whole year was a mess for everyone, and he hoped for nothing more than for it to finally end. There weren't many hopes the next one would be much better, though chances still were there. Their hug lasted no longer than two heartbeats. However, it felt like the time itself around them had stopped. Eskel could smell familiar notes of chamomile coming from Jaskier’s clothes, feel that slight tug when Jaskier clenched to his clothes with his hands. There was no need for any words between them. Almost like they knew together not a mere day but much, much longer, and understood each other without saying anything. Eskel</p>
<p>Unfortunately, that moment had to end. They both pulled away from each other clearly not wanting to do so. “Since we started this whole theme of music, do you want to hear me play? I need to practice, and since you couldn't hear it last time we performed, this would benefit both of us.” Jaskier suggested shyly rubbing the back of his neck and looking away.</p>
<p>“Only if you’re fine with that.”</p>
<p>“I am. What musician will I make if I'm shy of my own audience?" they both chuckled, "Then finish here, will you? I need to bring my guitar.”</p>
<p>Eskel just nodded and started clearing up the table. He thought about what had just happened, trying to find the exact place where their dialog went from peaceful chat about family and hobbies to something too personal. Not that he minded. It was just the hit the nerve with his question about Jaskier’s writing, and he would really like to avoid doing that again. Strange guilt settled in his gut as he remembered how sad the musician looked, so he swore later to be careful. Some small detail also hit him on the head that hard he almost dropped a plate he was washing. They knew each other less than a week, talked even less. Why was he suddenly caring about the man, again?</p>
<p>He didn’t get enough time to think about that properly. Jaskier appeared soon enough with a guitar and tow and that cheerful look on his face. It was hard to believe that mere minutes ago the man was sad, yet another thing Eskel found interesting about the musician. He quickly finished washing the last knife and moved to the armchair to sit just in front of Jaskier who occupied the sofa and was tuning his instrument. His brows were joined together, a tip of his tongue stuck out of his mouth in concentration only making the whole picture of carefree, childish, and maybe slightly sad, musician complete.</p>
<p>In no Jaskier was done. He strummed strings a couple of times making sure everything was perfectly tuned and lifted his head asking. “So, my audience, what song do you want to hear from your humble guitarist?”</p>
<p>Eskel hummed in consideration. He remembered that one song Jaskier’s band performed at their restaurant which he didn’t have a chance to actually enjoy. Not that he could enjoy others, but that one really caught his attention, and since there was an author right in front of him, it was only logical to request it. “You performed that song at our restaurant. Something about a shower? Sorry, didn’t have enough time to hear it properly.”</p>
<p>“That’s okay. I think I get what song you’re talking about,” Jaskier smirked at him and started playing the intro.</p>
<p>The music flowed in the air pleasantly. Soon Jaskier’s voice joined the soft singing of the guitar completing the song. Eskel allowed himself to close his eyes and just fade away into the music and think. He caught every word of the lyrics or strum of the chord, but it all felt so distant like it was far away from him. Thoughts filled his mind fighting for his attention; however, he still carefully chose what to think about. Mostly it was something pleasant. Even though the composition itself was rather sad, he didn’t want to spiral into sadness turning more towards something pleasant. This combination created a bittersweet feeling deep inside him which was just perfect for the whole situation.</p>
<p>What did he think about? Everything and anything, really. He thought about his own attempts to master guitar which all came to nothing and him abandoning it in the end. Remembered how he and his brothers used to find themselves in all sorts of little adventures. Closer to the end of the song he shifted to finally analyzing the past two days. Thought about his luck to live with Jaskier of all people. He might’ve not known the man too well at this point, though even now he could say that Jaskier was one of the best things that had happened in his life lately. There was something in this cheerful and a bit childish man, and he found himself eager to get to know him better. And as the last notes of the song rang in the air before the said musician started something new, Eskel thought that, maybe, it wasn’t such a bad thing to worry about his newfound friend. The question of whether his heart viewed Jaskier as a friend was abandoned the second it popped up in his head.</p>
<p>He didn’t have enough information to answer it just yet.</p>
<p>Though it didn’t mean he wasn’t eager to look for it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I'm lost in you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Eskel, do you have any plans for the evening?” Jaskier asked suddenly shifting slightly nervously on his seat on the couch.</p><p>Two weeks had passed since Eskel’s move to this apartment. Things had settled into a pleasant routine of them speaking and variously interacting. Their schedules were organized in a way that one of them was always home when other came and left, and it all worked out just fine. They would speak during their free time, watch a movie, or discuss a new book one of them read. Sometimes they didn’t even need to talk. There would be these quiet evenings, just like this one, during which both of them would just sit in the same room. Jaskier would play on his guitar working on whatever song he needed to while Eskel would read a book or listen to this small private performance. He couldn’t leave unnoticed how relaxed Jaskier’s singing was. It didn’t lack the emotion, no. Lyrics bit in the same way they did when he listened to them in recording, though the voice itself was slightly different. Like musician was comfortable around him and didn’t feel any obligation to be at his best like in front of the audience. At least Eskel liked to think so. And if soft glances he got from Jaskier were any indication he was somehow right.</p><p>Eskel lifted his gaze from the book he was reading and looked at Jaskier questionably. The musician in front of him blushed slightly, rubbing his hands nervously. Jaskier wanted to ask him something. Any other time he would’ve been surprised that he was able to read someone that easily, though even after only two weeks knowing the man, Eskel could say that they both learned each other pretty well.  “I just thought we could have a small walk,” Jaskier said after a moment of hesitation. “the weather outside seems to be better, at least no blizzard is raging, so the pond nearby must be beautiful.”</p><p>“Alright,” he said easily and closed the book placing it on the coffee table. Eskel caught a wide smile on Jaskier’s face and couldn’t help but smile just a little himself. They walked into the small hallway which he used to curse for the cramped space. However, both of them were avoiding each other easily. As Jaskier leaned to ties his shoelaces, Eskel leaned forward to grab his hat from the shelve, then while he was dealing with his cat Jaskier easily dove under his hand to get his. It was almost like they knew some kind of an invisible pattern that helped them not to bump together, though there was no secret to that. It just worked. Like many other things which happened just because they could. For example, a small cup of tea would always wait for Eskel near his book the moment he decided to take some time to relax after work, or how Jaskier would find his guitar just near the door. It was something sweet they did for each other, always content to notice other's reaction to a small thing like this lightning their grey day.</p><p>“Don’t forget to close the door,” Eskel teasingly reminded Jaskier who almost left without locking it, “remember last time you forgot to do it?”</p><p>Jaskier rolled his eyes and said in mock offense, “I, if you need a reminding, forgot to do this one time,” he straightened one finger showing it to Eskel making him chuckle fondly, “And so what if a cat found its home in our apartment? You keep reminding me about it like it was a disaster. Do you really think that I have such a bad memory?”</p><p>“For these things yes,” Jaskier gaped at him while Eskel walked into the elevator. “your head is just filled with music and poetry there’s no place for mere mortal’s worries. And it wasn’t a cat. More like a dozen of them, once again escaping from that apartment across the hall. Took a hell lot of fish to get them out.”</p><p>“My hands smelled like fish for the rest of the day,” the musician wrinkled his nose finding his place just near Eskel standing close to the bigger man. “but now I have such a good friend with even greater memory to remind me about closing our door.”</p><p>His heart clenched slightly at the word friend, though he deliberately ignored it returning to their small chat which shifted towards Jaskier telling a story of how a cellist in their band once played a small prank on them slightly changing the key every rehearsal and watched others trying to figure out what was wrong with the tune. Eskel allowed Jaskier’s voice to lure him into the peacefulness of the moment. There were no thoughts in his head, nothing that could spoil or change the moment even the tiniest bit. It was perfect. Jaskier’s chatting, his occasional grunts and soft chuckles, and the weather around them made an ideal evening. And he wasn’t going to let any unwanted thought or hidden sadness to ruin everything.</p><p>The world around them seemed almost unreal in its beauty. They took a small forest path to get to the pond Jaskier was talking about earlier this evening. Streetlights were standing idly at its edges, their warm light seemed foreign in all those deep and cold colors of the forest around them. Snowflakes were falling lazily from the skies. A small wind whirled them around, sometimes throwing them on the ground or right into people's faces. There was no actual force in it, so even when prickly particles of snow hit their cheeks it actually stung pleasantly instead of biting furiously with cold.</p><p>They were walking through this fairytale together. At some point Jaskier moved closer to Eskel, their hands brushing against each other. The last bits of their conversation had died a while ago, now there was no sound breaking the silence. Though it wasn’t the one when it weighed on the shoulders making you feel uncomfortable and confused. It was rather pleasant. A simple knowledge that Jaskier was still walking with him was enough to keep a warm light burning inside his chest. Soon enough the woods started to step aside, forming the first outlines of a circle. Another turn of the path under their legs. And the pond was in front of them in all of its beauty.</p><p>Without much of a warning, just a loud squeak, Jaskier rushed towards the small bridge which was barely reaching half of the water. Eskel shook his head fondly and walked after the musician, his heavy steps making a wooden road beneath him squeak in protest. Jaskier’s steps, on the other hand, were weightless. The man hopped like a child and in several long jumps was already at the edge of the bridge staring onto semi-darkness ahead of him with interest. It still surprised Eskel how much energy was stocked in this ridiculous, yet smart and beautiful man. Somehow Jaskier managed to be witty and unserious, smart and philosophic, sympathetic and passionate. Jaskier was many things. And even after spending two weeks with the men hearing him chatting, sometimes without even waiting for a reply, Eskel still felt like he barely knew his roommate. Which wasn’t <em>that </em>surprising, given the amount of time they knew each other. However, this mystery, feeling of the unknown, yet also of something pleasant and cozy, made Eskel to reach out for the musician. And he gladly did, only to be rewarded with free affection and warmth.</p><p>“Just look at this, Eskel,” Jaskier breathed out when Eskel stopped near him, a small cloud of mist escaped his lips momentarily disappearing into nothingness. The pond was no less beautiful than the forest. There was a small line of trees separating it from a private home just across it, and a lot of small lights all around the benches of the pond lightening the path along the way. Water beneath the bridge was slightly frozen, though some part of it was still uncovered. “how could it be that less than a couple of days ago it was raining? How could the weather change so easily from being utterly unpleasant to this,” Jaskier moved his hand outlining a circle in the air. “it sometimes surprises me how fast things can change.”</p><p>Eskel hummed considering the musician’s words. While he thought Jaskier, completely unbothered and ready to give him time, placed his elbows on the railings, “It surprises me some times too,” he answered after a moment finding a place just at Jaskier’s side, their shoulders brushing slightly as they stood together. “I guess it’s just the nature of the world. Everything has to change in order to be. Time is not immobile, after all. It’s just a matter of perspective.”</p><p>“Perspective?” Jaskier perked shifting his position slightly to face Eskel. Musician’s eyes were shining with curiosity which was always there whenever their thoughts on the topic didn’t match. “never thought about it that way. So, tell me, darling, what is the time for you? How do you imagine it?”</p><p>“Like a river,” there was no delay in the answer this time, “and we’re in the boat. It floats through the water with the wild speed of time,” he closed his eyes. He, actually, spent some time wandering about this topic, though never thought he would ever have anyone eager to discuss it with him, “all things that happen to us are small stones at its bottom. Whenever we focus on one of them, the boat slows don allowing us to have a better look, but the second we look away it speeds up again hurrying to catch up.”</p><p>Jaskier hummed at his side. Eskel opened his eyes only to be met with a fascinated and almost surprised glance of the clear blue. Something warmed inside of him at the knowledge that he was able to impress someone like Jaskier. He was no poet by any means, though had a good thought or two.</p><p>“I heard many interpretations of time, though no one had ever talked about how events are represented. My, my, Eskel, we might even make a good writer out of you,” Jaskier joked smiling warmly at Eskel. “just a couple of lessons and with those thoughts you will be the best out there.”</p><p>He smirked and shook his head fondly. “Can’t take your bread from you. Thinking is one and writing down another. Besides, never been too good with words anyway,” Eskel cautiously placed a hand on Jaskier’s back, patting it softly. “so, I’ll live you to writing. Still have cooking to busy myself with.”</p><p>“First of all, you are allowed to have more hobbies than one. And secondly,” Jaskier put his finger at Eskel’s chest with a mock look of seriousness on his face. Eskel rolled his eyes at the musician who continued in a serious tone, “who said you were bad with words? I had some colleagues who had troubles with that, and it’s something unacceptable for people of art. Luckily, you don’t fall in that category.”</p><p>“Still not so good as you are. Just thinking is fine with me, don’t need a heavy tome written to feel better or a reason to think.”</p><p>“But you must want something aside from your work,” Jaskier asked after thinking for a moment. Any mocking was gone now, replaced with softness. “you can’t spend all your life on the kitchen. There should be something else.”</p><p>Eskel shrugged not really knowing what to wish more about. He had a job he liked even though it was a bit rough at the moment. There was his family who he could turn to for help and a good time, and Jaskier. He wasn’t sure just yet what this miracle of a person was to him but still hoped to spend as much time he could with him. And that was just what he answered, “And what if there’s not? I have everything I need to. I found a new place to work at, just need to wait ‘till my current contract ends and then that will be fine. I have the family I love, a couple of acquaintances, and a person I want to keep close. There’s nothing more to wish for me.”</p><p>“Then I’m glad that you have a satisfying life,” Eskel frowned slightly hearing sad notes in Jaskier’s voice. The musician turned away from him shifting his gaze to the water surface, though he still could catch a glimpse of hurt in those clear eyes.</p><p>“Is everything alright?” he asked without much thinking, words came out before he could properly process what he might’ve said to spoil the moment.</p><p>Jaskier didn’t turn to him continuing to stare at the dark water. “Yes, everything is fine, really. Just,” he sighed heavily; his finger was drawing some shapeless curls on the wood. “happy you have someone to keep close. I mean, it. It’s not easy to find the right person in these times.”</p><p>It took a moment before it suddenly clicked. Gods this situation was stupid. And this man was a poet. Eskel was bad enough at trying to figure what was happening between them, though having Jaskier being the oblivious one took their relationship to a whole new level. With a small smile on his lips he carefully placed a hand over Jaskier’s back and drew the man closer wrapping the smaller man into the embrace. Jaskier gave him a questioning look, confusion clear on his face, and even tried to move away, but Eskel’s strong hand kept him firmly in place. After a moment of failed attempts to get free, the musician stopped and even leaned into the touch.</p><p>“I’m sure there’s someone out there wanting to keep you close.”</p><p>“Such as yourself?” Jaskier asked not sounding hurt anymore. Softness returned to his voice, eyes were now closed, enjoyment of being held was clearly written on his face.</p><p>“Hmm.” Eskel just hummed in response not bothering to answer. It wasn’t needed at that moment, anyway.</p><p>They stood like that for a while until it got both too cold and too late to stay outside. Eskel looked at a comforted man in his arms, a content smile one again bloomed on his face. Both of them could be so stupid sometimes, though, it wasn’t something bad or a thing to be worried about. Quite the contrary, if you asked him. That way they would have much more adventures and ridiculous situations, just like the one with the cats in their apartment. And, well, sometimes life did need a little spice up.</p><p>***</p><p>They didn’t speak about that evening on the lake. Whatever happened that day shifted their dynamic slightly but not majorly. They were still doing all sorts of small things to each other secretively, looking behind each other's back, keeping touching briefly, though obviously intentionally, but it still felt like there was some tension between them. A glance too long, a hug too tight. Eskel wasn’t necessarily concerned about these, because most of the time things went exactly as they did before. However, he couldn’t help but start digging in their interactions deeper coming to an obvious, though at the same time not so much, answer. It was true that Eskel had and still found Jaskier an attractive man, even if putting it that way would be a great underestimation of what he truly thought about the musician in question. In reality, he found everything in that man beautiful. The way he wrinkled his nose at not really pleasant smells, smiled and laughed clearly and openly, bit his tongue between his teeth when a line wasn’t falling into the pattern of a song, and many other small details Eskel started to carefully catalogue in his head. He later rethought about certain moments during boring work in the restaurant or whenever his head wasn’t occupied with anything. It was a pleasant distraction from the shit he got to face at work, even if it was slightly weird at the same time.</p><p>Somewhere at the end of the week, Eskel decided it was enough for them to sit at home and that it would be nice to have another walk with Jaskier through the town. This time their choice fell on a small forest just across the road from their home. It was peaceful enough that no one would be there to disturb them, since it mostly served as a shortcut to another part of the city than a place where many people would be hanging around in the middle of the day. And, well, there might’ve been some squirrels Jaskier wanted to pay a visit to, and this reason definitely wasn't a deciding one for the idea to go in those woods, nope. Though it wasn’t like either of them was against that either, so they just went with it only changing their plan a little to get into the shop and get some nuts with them</p><p>And now they were walking through the woods together relying on both Jaskier’s memory and GPS in case the musician led them to a wrong path. Jaskier made it perfectly clear that he knew every road that crossed the forest, but Eskel still wasn’t taking the possibility of them getting lost. There were numerous exits in different parts of the city, and neither of them knew how to get from certain districts, thus they found an agreement. Jaskier still tried pretending he was offended. He stayed silent for the first ten minutes of their walk looking all huffed and grumbling, but when they reached the needed place, he seemed to instantly forget about the whole ordeal.</p><p>Eskel had to admit, that a small clearing they found themselves at was beautiful. It wasn’t only nature that made it special. Just like at the pond, it was Jaskier who made the real difference. The man in question now was squatting in front of a pair of squirrels, a palm full of nuts outstretched in an inviting gesture, face lit up with a soft smile. It was a bit strange to see Jaskier change from all mocking annoyance to something Eskel could only describe as happiness. It also surprised him that someone who was eager to achieve success in their work could be so down earth and, more often than not, childish. He had a pleasure to see rich and famous people, unfortunately, and neither of them were like Jaskier. Which wasn’t a surprise, really, there weren’t many people like the musician, to begin with, even less in higher circles. And, if he was completely honest that day, seeing Jaskier now giggling and talking quietly to two squirrels eating from his palm was adorable and something Eskel would always like to see.</p><p>Meanwhile, Jaskier seemed to be in a completely another world. “You two look lovely, how is your winter? You have enough nuts for the season?” he asked softly two animals who made quiet purring sounds eating right from human’s palm, not bothering at all that the same palm could easily catch them and take away. “seems like you do, dears. Eskel, want to join me?” Jaskier turned to him inviting Eskel with a careful wave of his free hand. Squirrels tensed for a moment looking warily around, but when nothing threatening happened, they quickly returned to their food.</p><p>Eskel shook his head fondly and joked. “They would, probably, think of me as a threat.”</p><p>“Nonsense,” Jaskier protested getting on his legs, two animals still clinging to his hands not wanting to leave. The musician looked like a princess from those cartoons Eskel came across on TV. Without any hesitation, Jaskier placed a couple of nuts into his palm with a soft smile and then carefully moved himself closer to create a bridge out of their outstretched hands. One of the squirrels jumped away with a small whimper and called for another. Though it didn’t move. It looked curiously at Eskel studying him with its small black eyes. Carefully, as if waiting for an attack, it moved from now empty spot towards another portion of treats, “there you go,” Jaskier whispered, a small cloud escaped his mouth colliding with the squirrel. It lifted its head and then returned to nuts as if nothing had happened.</p><p>He was stunned. Usually, even house animals, especially cats, would try to hide from him or run away to their parents. But this squirrel didn’t. Eskel looked closer at it wandering, how a wild animal, supposedly not used to being pet and humans at all, could be so comfortable on his hand. It looked beautiful. Its pelt was bright brown even in dim winter light falling on it through tree branches above the forest, eyes still focused on Eskel, though they still didn’t look scared. Cautious at best. He couldn’t help but smile softly at it. The animal perked its ears listening around but didn’t move. It reminded him of Jaskier. The same way as this little ball of fur wasn’t terrified of him, Jaskier wasn’t either. The first thing people looked at and asked about was always Eskel’s scars. There were mixed reactions. Sometimes scared and uncomfortable, less sympathetic and pitying. More often than not people tended to avoid him. Thus, Eskel didn’t really have any friends aside from his family, and, well, Jaskier. The man in question now was looking at him with that adorable look on his face. Jaskier smiled at him softly, hands now tucked away in warm pockets, eyes glowing with contentment. Eskel couldn’t help but sigh and smile back. Having someone who wasn’t afraid and seemed completely unbothered with his appearance felt really nice.</p><p>After a couple of minutes, when all nuts were gone and they had nothing to offer, squirrel looked at Eskel expectantly and then easily jumped from his hand on the ground running towards the nearby tree where the first one was waiting for it the whole time. There were a couple very quiet murmurs before the couple disappeared somewhere high in the branches easily hoping higher and higher.</p><p>“Told you, they’d love you,” Jaskier noted still looking upwards after now invisible animals. Eskel just sighed softly at this comment and didn’t say anything, “no, really,” the musician lowered his head moving his gaze to him. Their eyes met, “you’re like a big softie, animals can see that. You might need to show it before they soften back, though some of them just know,” Jaskier’s hand landed on Eskel’s shoulder. For some reason, he was sure this conversation wasn’t about animals at all, “sixth sense and all of that.”</p><p>“Well, didn’t experienced many who had this sense or wanted to see, normally they just run away and hiss at me, whenever I got too close for their liking.”</p><p>Jaskier’s eyes went wide with surprise, his hand squeezed Eskel’s shoulder tighter. “Really?” Eskel nodded. “then you’re lucky to have me as your personal Disney princess because I’m charming,” he chuckled at musician’s words. They both started to move deeper into the woods continuing their walk. Jaskier was no longer touching his shoulder, though he still could feel where Jaskier’s hand was touching his shoulder, “every creature in these woods adores me. And not only them,” the musician turned to him and winked.</p><p>Eskel smiled, rolling his eyes. “Hard to argue with that, those squirrels seemed totally charmed by you,” Jaskier huffed at him playfully, making Eskel chuckle again. “how long have you been living here? You seem to know quite a lot ‘bout this area.”</p><p>“Oh, just as long as I was playing my guitar,” Eskel looked down on him with his brow lifted, clearly unimpressed. Jaskier only grinned and waved his hand. “forever, dear. I’ve been living in this part of the city since I was small. My family lives a couple of bus stops from here, whereas I’m a foreign snowflake brought here by the beauty of local nature and even more beautiful people.”</p><p>“That homeless near the shop must be the most beautiful out of us all.” Eskel laughed seeing Jaskier open his mouth trying to protest. There wasn’t anything Jaskier could really use as an argument since practically everyone in a two-kilometer radius knew about that particular homeless man who was said to be begging for years now, so in the end Jaskier joined his laughter.</p><p>“Hard to argue with this,” the musician said between laughs, “bastard, actually, stole my guitar when I just moved here. He apologized later, claiming that he needed money for food, though a strong scent of vodka suggested he was more thirsty than hungry.”</p><p>Eskel snorted, “Thought this was a known fact ‘bout this fellow. How did that even happen? Had too much stuff in the apartment there was no space for guitar?”</p><p>Jaskier opened his eyes and gasped exasperatedly, hand placed over his chest, “You! How dare you say something that cruel about my precious instrument?! I’ll let you know that no one has ever insulted her like that and got away with it,” an accusing finger was pressed at Eskel’s chest, blue eyes looked him intensely. No matter how hard Jaskier tried to look angry, Eskel easily noticed that Jaskier was hopelessly trying to fight back a grin on his face, and his eyes were glowing with joy and not fury musician tried to pull off, “and I have to point out that I rarely let anything happen to my instruments.”</p><p>“Okay, I got it,” Eskel said firmly gently urging Jaskier to continue their walk. Musician smirked and walked forward purposely much faster than he should’ve. He just rolled his eyes and caught up with Jaskier asking, “so, how did your precious guitar got stolen?”</p><p>“Well, I might be careful while tending to my instrument, but I’m certainly not careful with my timings,” Jaskier shrugged turning on his heels to face Eskel, easily walking backward and managing not to fall on the ice at the same time. “you can’t blame me, really. My memory is only for something valuable, besides, what the time means when you spend it composing?” Eskel gave him an uninterested look silently asking to continue. Jaskier huffed, “You are no fun. Anyway, I was running late on that day, almost ran out of the apartment, but figured out that my phone was left somewhere inside, so I left my guitar in the hallway and rushed to find it, you know, because there’s where all my lyrics are. In the rush I completely forgot about the door, and while I was turning practically the whole apartment upside down my guitar was stolen. When I found him, he was already high on vodka. It was my fault, really, should’ve….”</p><p>Eskel would never know what Jaskier should’ve done. Just before finishing the sentence, Jaskier slipped on an especially icy part of the path and with a yelp of surprise went falling. Eskel rushed forward careful not to repeat the musician’s fate and managed to catch Jaskier’s hand before the man fell on the hard asphalt. He pulled the smaller man away, but Jaskier was so surprised after the whole fall and being rescued, that they stumbled slightly, their bodies collided awkwardly. They froze looking at each other. Their faces were close, breaths warming each other’s cheeks, eyes locked. Jaskier’s hand was placed on Eskel’s chest, which was heaving and falling slightly erratically, his palm still holding the musician’s hand tightly. Something lit up in Jaskier’s clear gaze. Eskel’s heart skipped a beat. He could see the musician’s red from both cold and confusion cheeks, how those long fingers spread slowly across his coat. Eskel hummed, slowly pulling close, feeling Jaskier’s other hand move upwards to his face right where his scars were. Cold skin touched his cheek, musician’s warm breath brushed his lips.</p><p>Suddenly, there was a loud sound of a bell ringing. They jumped away from each other clearing the way for a cyclist who passed, cursing loudly about them blocking the road. Neither of them noticed it. Jaskier shifted awkwardly from one leg to other not sure what to do next. Eskel just watched him not daring to take a step closer. Musician looked away from him, his small hand tucked a brown curl behind his ear, cheeks now even brighter than before. Eskel didn’t really know what to do. Nor did Jaskier. After a long moment, the man in front of him slowly walked closer to Eskel and with a smile on his lips pressed a soft kiss to Eskel’s right side of the face, as high as Jaskier could only reach.</p><p>“Thank you,” Jaskier breathed out before his lips carefully touched the scars only for a second, before pulling back. “hope next time we won’t be interrupted.”</p><p>A grin crossed the musician's face, making Eskel snort at that. They intertwined their hands, not eager to repeat the whole falling part, and continued their small walk back to the exit from where they came, moment of closeness warming at their hearts and keeping them warm even as the cold started to slowly get under their clothes. Eskel was sure they won’t talk about it just like after the pond, though for now, he allowed himself to bring Jaskier closer and bury his nose into musician’s hair breathing in that cozy smell of chamomile which seemed to cling to Jaskier’s hair and skin like the man purposely showered in soft smelling flowers. But Eskel liked it. It was just like Jaskier himself. Soft and pretty. And who could blame him for wanting to feel it a bit more often than he did?</p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p>“You seriously believe that cereal is soup?” Eskel asked Jaskier who was currently leaning on him while they both sat on the couch in the living room. It had been a couple more days since their walk, and neither of them brought it back. Not that Eskel was completely disappointed with this fact, he just wished they had been able to go with that kiss when the moment had been perfect and didn’t have to avoid the topic now. Though, if Jaskier didn’t want to talk about this, he was completely fine with that, even if slightly hurt, “Soup is when you mix vegetables and liquid, in case of hot ones you boil the whole thing, in case of cold squish or serve like that.”</p><p>Jaskier giggled at his side and threw his head back to see Eskel properly. “But you have a liquid part and a hard one, you eat it with a spoon from a bowl. Doesn’t that make cereal a cold soup, then?”</p><p>He snorted moving away. Musician fell on the couch with a small whimper and gave him a threatening look. “Porridge is not a soup, and it’s boiled and even has all ingredients which can go into an actual soup. Cereal is more like a desert, not a soup.”</p><p>“Okay, just hear me out,” Jaskier said straightening up and launching himself into full explanation, trying to back it up with real arguments, even thought all of them were weak. “First of all, there are cold soups, just like you yourself eagerly, and without coercion, pointed out. Secondly, there are soups where milk is used as a broth, so this part adds up perfectly. Now to cereal. When we add them in the milk, we mix them all, thus the end result is a liquid mixed with hard particles. And don’t tell me cereal is not an ingredient for soup, they’re made out of rice. Now try to beat this up.”</p><p>Eskel looked at Jaskeir sitting to his left hunched forward waiting for his reply. Tis whole conversation they had was going on for hours now and they seemed to find even more topics to argue about. Everything started with them discussing a book where a character claimed that an envelope is a pocket, so they spent hours trying to figure it out and reach a verdict. Apparently, an envelope is a pocket of sorts, none of them was surprised to find that fact out, and now Eskel was starting to question if cereal was, in fact, a soup, “There are cold soups, but cereal without milk is still cereal, whereas…” he didn’t finish cut off by a doorbell going off. Eskel frowned turning to Jaskier who looked no less surprised than he was. “Do you expect someone?”</p><p>“Not that I know off,” Jaskeir said jumping from the coach. Eskel got up as well joining the musician on his way to the front door. Just at the beginning of the hallway he shoveled the smaller man behind his back, just in case it was some scammers or other threat, and cautiously looked through a peephole. Dim light at an elevator room wasn’t much of a help, though Eskel still managed to see two heads one at the level of his eyes and another much lover. There was a gleam of familiar dark ember eyes and another press to the doorbell. “I think I know these visitors,” he sighed pulling his keys out.</p><p>There was one specific reason why Eskel didn’t really want his brothers to meet Jaskier just yet, simply because those two morons could be annoying as fuck and, which was the most important, had no boundaries at all. Especially Lambert. That one was the worst of the whole their small family, and there were numerous occasions when the youngest man managed to scare people away not only from himself but others as well. And losing Jaskier because his brothers were clinically unable to hold their tongues behind their teeth would be a small tragedy for him. But there they were, standing in the hallway, keys in Eskel’s hands and an interested head looking from behind his shoulder as he unlocked the first door. No room to ran away from a meeting anymore.</p><p>“You know?” Jaskier asked curiously trying to get a better view from behind Eskel’s shoulder. “why didn’t you tell me anything? Should I prepare something? Oh, there’s some leftovers from that cake my friends brought recently, would they like it?”</p><p>Eskel frowned remembering that evening when Jaskier’s band was celebrating an end of recording sessions and a beginning of concert rehearsals. It was an awkward affair. The band clearly wanted to spend some time with Jaskier, so after a brief introduction Eskel was left all to himself in his room for hours until the second singer left their apartment last. She was a beautiful woman, and Eskel couldn’t help but feel a small sting somewhere deep inside as he saw. Even he could tell she was very pretty. Her short hair was slightly curly, a white dress elegantly highlighted all the best from her figure. She was someone Eskel would expect Jaskier to end up with. Really, what could he offer to the musician? Small walks under the trees? Late evening conversations? Even though Eskel was a cook and not the worst out there, there were little things he could give to Jaskier.</p><p>He shook those thoughts away. It didn’t matter what he could and couldn’t give. During the whole evening, as far as he could tell by passing the company of musicians occasionally, nothing was going on between two soloists. Maybe he still got his chance, after all. “It’s just my brothers. Bastards didn’t write a word they would be coming. Probably, one of them is drunk and needs a couch to stay on, in the worst case, it will be both of them dead drunk.”</p><p>Jaskeir giggled behind him placing an arm to his shoulder. Even this small touch sent a wave over Eskel’s entire body, He frowned deeper and opened the door looking for his shoes to open another one before the doorbell left them deaf. “That should be lovely! <em>If </em>they are drunk, I have something I can make to continue their party without getting deeper into that void. They hardly need that.”</p><p>And with that Jaskeir was gone. Eskel sighed and yelled loudly to stop the constant nose. “Wait one fucking minute!”</p><p>The bell trill ended abruptly providing some blessed silence for his hurting ears. There was an audible stream of curses running from behind the second door, then a loud thud and even more cursing. When Eskel finally managed to get a rusty lock unlocked, he opened the door eyeing the whole scene suspiciously. Lambert was tucked under Geralt’s arm grumbling something under his breath and trying to punch the bigger man, while Geralt looked tiredly at Eskel. There was a bottle of wine in his arms which made Eskel sigh again and ask, “What the fuck is this? Have you two seen the time?”</p><p>Lambert laughed at him drunkenly, a strong scent of alcohol hit Eskel’s nose making him growl. “Eskal, brother! You 'ont believe me.” Lambert continued to tell something but Geralt’s arm made it hard to decipher what exactly was he celebrating.</p><p>“He took me out for a drink. Somehow came earlier, and this drunkard had three bottles of something before I showed up. That shit must’ve been strong, he had only a glass of wine with me ‘round.” Geralt said tiredly, his hand massaging his nose.</p><p>“And you decided to bring him here?” Eskel lifted a brow looking at his brothers unimpressed. It wasn’t unusual for them to crush onto each other’s coaches, though they usually wrote a warning before showing up. “Couldn’t you warn me?”</p><p>“Nothing could do, that bastard stole my phone saying something that Ciri would do okay without me being a mother hen,” Geralt huffed annoyingly and gave a good slap at Lambert’s head completely ignoring sleepy sounds of protests. “besides, you were the closest one to drive to, there’s no way I’m taking him to stay at my home, and Vesemir will kill us both.”</p><p>Eskel cringed remembering how strictly they were punished at dropping Lambert at Vesemir’s house, and he would really like to avoid a repetition of that experience. “Fine, come in. I will give him my bed, a door on the left just at the kitchen.” he said defeatedly stepping aside to let Geralt inside. Lambert had a really hard time keeping up with slow walk, so he stumbled a lot and cursed even wilder. “Shut the fuck up, you should be grateful I even let you stay,” Eskel grumbled locking both doors and hurrying inside.</p><p>He was met by Jaskier’s confused glance the second Geralt disappeared with his deadweight into Eskel’s room. Eskel himself sighed and sat heavily on the chair at the table burying his head in his hands.</p><p>“Let me guess, one of your brothers decided to celebrate something and got drunk?” Jaskier asked placing a cup of strong-smelling tea on the table. Eskel just nodded affirmatively and lifted his eyes to be met with a sympathetic gaze of musician’s. “and now he needs a bed to sleep the whole thing off, am I right?”</p><p>“Unfortunately, you are,” Eskel said taking a sip from his cup noticing that something was off with the drink. He sniffed carefully at it and picked soft undertones of something tasty coming from it, slightly sour smell intertwined with warmer notes of chamomile. He lifted his brow looking questionably at a musician.</p><p>Jaskier in front of him grinned and lazily sipped from his cup as well, stretching time before answering, “Well, I said I will make their party a bit longer,” musician easily bent over picking a half-empty bottle of whiskey from one of the cupboards. “guess only one of your brothers would get a try, which is certainly better. That way we will have more to ourselves.”</p><p>Eskel rolled his eyes. Jaskier was unbelievable. However, the tea was very good for him to complain about its alcoholic part. His two brothers had already had some before getting over to him, he wasn’t going to stay sober. “You’re a genius.”</p><p>“People tend to say that,” Jaskier winked joining him at the table. Musician picked his chair just across Eskel easily making himself comfortable with a cup and a sitting position in time for Geralt to return.</p><p>Geralt placed the bottle of wine he brought on the table and a hand on Eskel’s shoulder. “Lambert would be out ‘till the morning. Doubt he will wake up before noon, actually. You know how much it takes to make him this drunk.”</p><p>Eskel snorted. “That I do. Geralt, meet Jaskier here. Jaskier, this is Geralt, my brother.”</p><p>Jaskier smiled widely holding out his hand for a shake. “Pleasures. Jaskier, guitarist, poet and an amazing singer at your service.”</p><p>“Geralt,” Geralt said shortly in return. He took the only chair between two men, a cup of the was already waiting for him. Geralt eyed it stunned for a moment before saying, “can’t drink that, sorry. Already have enough alcohol inside, don’t need to lower it by having a tea party with you two.”</p><p>“Just give it a try, you will be surprised to find out it won’t lower that alcohol level in your blood. Besides, a warm cup is better than a cold glass of wine any day,” Eskel couldn’t help but grin watching Geralt try the drink cautiously. It took a moment before his brother caught up with a taste of whiskey in the drink and relaxed into his chair clearly enjoying it. Jaskeir smirked obviously happy with his small accomplishment, “Guess it didn’t lower anything, after all. Now tell me, what the whole fuss is about.”</p><p>“Yes, Geralt, translate me from that drunk Lambert’s grumbling into normal human speech.”</p><p>“Fuck off, Eskel,” Geralt huffed annoyingly, “you weren’t the one who had to listen to it at least four times because that asshole forgot he told you about it already. And every version was different too, so there's a chance all of them are wrong. As far as I got it, Lambert got that boyfriend of his, Aiden, out,” the white-haired man sighed and added after a small pause. “why does he have to get this drunk whenever something good happens?”</p><p>“Well, I’ve wanted to know that for a long time now,” Eskel sighed tiredly. “are you staying ‘ere with us or gonna walk all the way to your place? Not a good idea, if you ask me, it’s kinda late.”</p><p>“Guess then I have no other option.” Geralt smirked. “Where can I crush? Are you guys sharing or Eskel is still being a monk?”</p><p>Eskel’s groaned burying his face into his hands again, as Jaskier choked on his tea and started coughing loudly. “Why would you ask something like this?” he grumbled getting up to clap musician on his back. “we’re not, you’ll sleep with Lambert on my bed, I’ll take the couch. And forget that fucking joke, I’m not a monk!”</p><p>He actually growled at his brother feeling confused under Jaskier’s questioning glance. How was he supposed to explain it? This joke was running in their family ever since Eskel once told Lambert he didn’t want a relationship. Back then it really wasn’t a good time. He was having troubles with finding a permanent apartment and was moving from his new place back to his father’s, and really didn’t want to start anything before he was steady. He had to invent that excuse just to make his brothers fuck of faith their teasing, now, however, he really regretted doing that. Not only did they continue to tease him, that joke became running in their family which wasn’t doing him any good. Eskel glared at Geralt, who simply nodded and finished his cup in one go. He got up and excused himself for the night clearly confused by his false assumptions. Eskel closed his eyes for a moment trying to come up with an explanation and an apology for his brother. Meanwhile, Jaskier confusedly shifted at his seat. “Well, that was a bit of an anti-climax.” he joked, but it fell completely flat.</p><p>“I’m sorry for that brute, he isn’t good with people, shit like this happens often,” Eskel said apologetically, returning to his seat at the table. He lowered his eyes not ready to face Jaskier’s answer. He really should’ve pretended there was nobody home. That way he wouldn’t have lost Jaskier so foolishly, by one misplaced word out of his brother’s mouth.</p><p>Just as he prepared to lunch himself further into an apology, Jaskeir carefully placed his and on Eskel’s and smiled softly, “It’s okay, my friends made worse assumptions about when they came. Besides, that coach is not suited to host someone like you, I was planning to offer my bed, anyway.”</p><p>“You were what?” Eskel asked in disbelief, his head jerked up, and he was now faced with gleaming blue eyes which didn’t look mocking by any sense, and slightly flushed cheeks of the musician.</p><p>Jaskier only shook his head softly and repeated. “Share my bed, Eskel. Gee, I didn’t notice I made this tea so strong you can’t process my words properly anymore,” this time joke made both of them laugh slightly confused.</p><p>“Would you really like to do that? I can take the couch; you don’t have to do this.”</p><p>“Darling, I haven’t done anything I didn’t want in my whole life. And I’m not about to start this now.” Jaskier squeezed Eskel’s wrist driving the point home. They sat like that for a couple of minutes, just looking in each other’s eyes. Eskel was too surprised to answer anything, and the musician didn’t seem like he needed an answer at all. It was almost as if Jaskier somehow knew that Eskel wasn’t against the offer. But eventually, they had to move. Jaskier broke the hold of his hand and got up pushing his chair easily under the table with a thigh kick. “finish here, sweetheart, I will wait for you in my room.”</p><p>And with that Jaskier went away. Eskel styed frozen on his chair. His heartbeat picked up the pace. Was this really happening with him? Was Jaskeir really offering a night at his room with him in the same bed? It felt unreal. For last weeks Eskel was all but left with occasional dreams of being close to the musician and now, when they finally came true, he was lost at what to think about this all. Surely, both of them were flirting with each other since those first days of their friendship, but this was clearly a next step Eskel suddenly felt not ready to. He shook himself pushing all thoughts away and started cleaning on the table. The sweet smell of chamomile whiskey tea was still lingering in the air and teasing his nose as a reminder that he would get a whole night breathing in this very same smell. In a rush, Eskel cleaned all cups and a teapot, checked that every chair was in its designated place and turned to the cherished door. He suddenly felt too nervous and not tired to actually go to bed. All the tiredness he felt at his brothers showing up unexpectedly, at lambert and Geralt being themselves, now disappeared leaving cold nervousness behind.</p><p>So, he decided to pick a book hoping somewhere inside that he wouldn’t need it.</p><p>He opened the door, soft smell of flowery perfume, and a warm glow of a night lamp met him.</p><p>Jaskier was sitting on one half of the bed, legs outstretched and back leaning against a headboard, soft smile at his lips as his hand wrote something quickly at a notebook. There was none of that perfection which musician always presented himself with. Hair disorganized and messy, nightshirt unbuttoned on first two buttons and wrinkled, two bare feet poked from under covers of the bed. Jaskier seemed comfortable. Just as he was beautiful with his ironed shirts during the day talking and arguing whether cereal was a soup, he looked no less now in obviously old and faded pajamas writing something. Eskel looked at the musician taking in new appearance of the man and almost resolved to leaving and taking the couch not wanting to bother this picture of peace. However, as he thought about it, closing the door, Jaskier lifted his eyes from the book and with a smirk on his face teased.</p><p>“Are you going to stand there for the whole night? I’m afraid a standing position won’t provide much comfort.”</p><p>Eskel just grunted at that and entered the room still slightly unsure whether he was even allowed to witness all of this. He could feel Jaskier’s gaze on his back as he took his pants off but when turned found the musician studying the wall instead. A soft smile crossed his face. He himself wasn’t a saint and looked at Jaskeir whenever the other man wasn’t looking, and the thought of Jaskier doing the same thing warmed his heart. In a moment he was undressed to his underpants and slid under the covers groaning quietly at the heat of the bed. It was the middle of December, but central heating wasn’t working just yet leaving the whole apartment rather chilly for anyone’s liking. Jaskier near him giggled at that small sound and copied his motion. Eskel took out the book and started reading it when a warm body pressed itself just under his arm.</p><p>He lifted a brow questioningly at Jaskeir who found his place under Eskel’s right arm, head resting on the broad chest. The musician only winked at him and murmured. “You are too warm to let all this warmth come to nothing. And I feel so cold in this huge bed. Ideal for both of us.”</p><p>“Hmm.”</p><p>Book now forgotten, Eskel placed it on a nightstand feeling too comfortable to waste time trying to focus on words he would forget by the morning. He could finish reading it later. Sometimes when there wouldn’t be Jaskier purring almost inaudibly. The smile widened on Eskel’s face. And this man wanted to become famous. He shook his head fondly and also slid under the blanked pulling Jaskier closed. The musician only cracked one eye open to look at him, fuzzy from sleep and comfort gaze.</p><p>“Abandoning book? Not good, it will…” Jaskier whispered slowly drifting into slumber, unable to fight tiredness anymore.</p><p>Eskel brought him closeк feeling how the musician stirred throwing one arm over his chest. “Sleep well, buttercup,” he murmured placing a gentle kiss on Jaskier’s forehead.</p><p>It took him some time before sleep pulled him in its tight embrace, but Eskel wasn’t bothered. If every sleepless night was like this, he would never say a word again. As his eyes started to close slowly, he took a deep breath. The scent he was longing to feel surrounded him, mixing with salty undertones of their sweat. The room itself was rather small, the bed they lied on wasn’t as spacious as it seemed at a first glance. But Eskel didn’t notice any of those things. What was the point anyway? He had Jaskier sleeping in his arms, his heart was warmed with happiness, his two brothers were also nearby. Why focus on something bad when everything around was practically screaming of this small apartment being home? Comfortable, in its own way beautiful. And filled with people. People he loved with his whole heart.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for all your kudos! I'm really glad you enjoy this story as much as I do. The next chapter will be out next Thursday at the latest. I might change the number of chapters, though I'm not sure about that just yet. It will depend on what our dear Eskel and Jaskier will be up to.<br/>Anyway. Merry Xmas eve everyone, and stay safe!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Sip sunshine from your eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay, I might've gone a bit too far with this chapter. It's fricking 11k, the longest I've ever done. Consider it the first part of my gift for New Year from me. A big first part ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eskel woke up the next morning feeling well-rested like he had never felt before. He slowly cracked one of his eyes only to find himself buried under Jaskier who was now sprawled on top of him like a big start he was. Eskel chuckled, his deep laughter the only thing in the complete silence of the room. If it was to him to decide, he would very like to wake up like this every morning in a quiet room with them tangled together like this. He turned his head carefully and looked at the night table to check the time. It was only seven o’clock. He could easily spare five more minutes just to laze under a warm blanket and think. About a whole previous year, and how the only thing about it was his family and this new addition in form of Jaskier, how he soon would be free from his shitty work and able to find a restaurant with a more pleasant employer.</p><p>As he thought more about good things that had happened to him, Eskel couldn’t help but smile. What was the point of thinking about something bad that had happened, anyway? Those were awful, and they did happen to him and often, if you asked him. Though it wasn't like he could change them at this point. No, there was no going back. If previously in this year Eskel really thought that if he had the ability to go back in time, he would’ve forced himself to look for a better vacancy and find a better place to work, now he understood that he didn’t want to do that anymore. Some time ago it all had shifted and didn’t seem like a hell it was before. Things were still bad. His boss was still making sure he wouldn’t have any spare money to even consider leaving, made him work without much of a rest than a five-minute break in twelve hours workday. Before Eskel would’ve spat at his face and cursed the man for hours on end. Because really, no one should behave like this, contract or not. Though now, again, he didn’t want to. Because he realized that without this douchebag he would’ve never moved in this apartment, would’ve never met Jaskier, and gotten to know the musician. The best thing that happened to Eskel during this year was brought by one of his worst decisions. Maybe he shouldn’t have signed that contract, though at this point it didn’t matter what he should’ve done. He did and now was extremely grateful that no one was able to dissuade him from doing so.</p><p><em>Everything that happens to us is for the better. </em>Vesemir’s words he had always said to his sons whenever something bad happened to them echoed in Eskel’s head. He always thought of this advice as something like a cruel irony said to poke at a fresh wound. Though when things had finally cleared out it seemed even logical. Not always bad choices ended with something good, more often than not things could and would become even worse. This time, however, was different. This particular bad choice ended up in Jaskier now sleeping on Eskel’s chest. Seemed like his old man was right after all.</p><p>“Hmph,” Jaskier groaned softly, waking up from his slumber. Musician tried to shift his position which resulted in his unexpectedly rolling off him onto the mattress. With a small yelp of surprise, Jaskeir fell head into the bed while Eskel openly chuckled at him. Jaskier mumbled something in bed and then lifted his head, mischievous glint already gleaming in the depth of his eyes. “funny, yes? Let’s see how you like this!” he exclaimed grabbing a pillow and it Eskel right in the head. He didn’t bother with dodging the half-missed, weak hit and only laughed seeing how Jaskier pouted unseriously.</p><p>“Really? What is your head stuffed with? Iron?”</p><p>“I believe with knowledge, though some part of it has to do with bones.”</p><p>Jaskier grinned widely and placed his head on his palms looking upwards to Eskel. “Well, I’m sure that bones are insignificant here, and it’s more to do with knowledge. You were thinking so loudly I even woke up at this ungodly early hour,” he lifted himself to have a better look at the clock. When Jaskier saw the time, he gaped and fell dramatically on his back closing his eyes with his hand. “seven-thirty?! You, mister, have committed a terrible crime!”</p><p>Eskel leaned closer to the musician looking at two blue eyes peeking from under long fingers. “Which one? Can think only about insulting you.”</p><p>“That one and robbery, of course.” Eskel lifted his brow in silent question, “You robbed me of two hours of my beauty sleep,” Jaskier said pointing his finger at Eskel’s chest. “and now you owe me two hours of your time.”</p><p>“Sounds only fair,” he murmured thoughtfully, “and how do you want to spend them?”</p><p>“Come to my concert in two weeks,” Jaskier said quickly as if knowing already what to ask for. Eskel hemmed at this offer considering it while the musician went on babbling slightly. “it might take, actually, more than two hours, though by the end of the month an interest rate would even it just to the time of the concert…”</p><p>He watched Jaskier chat with himself joking and laughing at the same time. Eskel wondered how no one had claimed this ball of happiness to themselves and felt the warmth inside of him spilling at the thought that he managed to get Jaskier almost wholly to himself, even if they weren’t dating just yet. “I’ll gladly go to your performance,” he said after a moment enjoying how it silenced the musician for a moment.</p><p>Jaskier blinked a couple of times slightly unsure if he heard it correctly and then in a second changed to smiling widely and beaming with contentment. “That will be just great! I’ll make sure to write you in a guest list since I won’t charge you, oh and…”</p><p>Jaskier started babbling again talking quickly about a lot of things. Eskel rolled his eyes fondly not even trying to determine what Jaskier was currently talking about. Musician’s hands were moving slightly in the air as he started to calculate something, which only made him smile more. Without much of a thought, pulled completely by warm feeling inside, Eskel leaned closer and gently kissed Jaskeir, shushing his muttering with his lips. The man looked surprised, and Eskel thought he might’ve made a mistake, but then two hands touched his head deepening the kiss. It was something entirely new for Eskel. Ever before this very moment he only got to experience rare kisses of whores he hired and those weren’t very eager to go for something as gentle and careful as this. It wasn’t fast and demanding, but very soft almost like a touch of silk. Jaskier’s fingers ran through Eskel’s hair, while Eskel’s pressed into the mattress keeping him from falling on top of Jaskier.</p><p>Eventually, they had to pull away from each other. Eskel looked deeply into musicians’ eyes. Jaskier looked back at him, cheeks flushed and chest moving erratically. Silence filled the room. None of them said a word, though it seemed like there was no need in any. They just stared at each other processing what just had happened between them when suddenly there was a loud noise coming from the kitchen and even louder cursing. Just like that, a minute hitch snapped like a twig. Their laughter filled the room while cursing only got louder behind the door.</p><p>“I believe we have to check what has happened there,” Jaskier said through fits of giggles, “otherwise they’ll bring all apartment down.”</p><p>“Judging by the sound it’s Lambert. Let me go first, or we’ll break him if we show up together.” Eskel joked easily pushing himself off the bed.</p><p>“How will that happen?” Jaskier asked curiously also getting up and stretching after a long night. A soft moan escaped his lips as he twisted his spine, “don’t tell me your brother doesn’t know who you are? Or it has to do with Geralt mentioning you being a what now? A monk?” he teased grabbing his jeans.</p><p>Eskel groaned, ears bright red from embarrassment, “The first one he knows too fucking well. Once thought it was a burglar at my house when I was having a date with a man. Should’ve seen his face, his jab was somewhere near the floor. Didn’t change a bit from that time,” Jaskier snorted loudly at that making him smile as well. Eskel pulled his T-shirt over his head, “and me being a monk was a running joke in the family. I confirmed it just to make those two fuck off, but instead they’ve started mocking me and bringing it whenever possible.”</p><p>“Well, now we both know that you are a terrible monk, ‘case they aren’t really allowed to find someone if you know what I mean. Now, let’s go break your brother, I bet he would look fun.”</p><p>Eskel grinned and left the room walking after Jaskier. They both were something. Jaskier’s hair a mess and his shirt unbuttoned on the first two studs. He himself wasn’t better. His clothes were crumpled after lying in one pile the whole night on the chair, the same mess on his head. They easily found Lambert in the kitchen holding a glass of water in his left hand and massaging his head with his right. He didn’t notice them, too focused on arguing with Geralt who was sitting his back to them on the chair and eating something slowly.</p><p>“Fuck, do you have to eat so loudly?” Lambert whined when the knife scratched a plate too hard. Geralt only hummed at that clearly doing everything loudly to piss Lambert off. On Eskel’s experience it wasn’t a very good idea, “and why the hell did you have to eat right now, could’ve easily gotten a bite at Mac or something.”</p><p>“Not all of us can live on fast food as you do,” Geralt pointed out calmly and continued to work through his food, “Don’t you remember what Papa Vesemir taught us? Breakfast is the most important meal.”</p><p>Lambert opened his mouth to say something in response when Jaskier purposely stumbled falling on Eskel. He easily caught the musician and pulled him in another kiss. He could see with his peripheral vision how Lambert gaped at them amused and almost terrified, losing the glass in the process. It shattered with a loud sound against the floor into million shards, splashing liquid everywhere. Geralt just lifted his head and turned unsurprised to see what the fuss was all about. Eskel was ready to see white-haired only smirk and return to his food as if nothing had happened. In a moment, Jaskier pulled away from Eskel with a smirk on his face and turned to face the surprised man.</p><p>There was a silence for a couple of moments until Lambert shook his head, “Fuck, Geralt, this one takes your title.”</p><p>“Never liked it anyway,” Geralt smirked and threw a piece of his bread at Lambert</p><p>All of them laughed, except Lambert who groaned loudly from his headache. Eskel shook his head and brought Jaskier closer, his hand resting on the musician’s waist as they walked to the table. Lambert politely brushed the biggest part of the glass away with his leg which earned a growl from Eskel for that.</p><p>“Oh relax, big oaf, nothing will happen to your princess's feet,” he said, dodging a broom which was thrown right at his face. Another cup flew on the floor, “So rude. What will your pretty boy think about you? Must be hard to pay for this beauty here when you’re broke as shit, right Eskel?”</p><p>He rolled his eyes and was ready to ignore that comment, but Jaskier grinned widely. The musician slipped out of Eskel’s embrace and walked to the bathroom door. It looked like he decided not to answer Lambert, but then he stopped and remarked with a wink, “Oh don't worry, darling, I won't bankrupt your brother. Besides, at least I'm getting paid while you work for free.”</p><p>“Damn, I like this one,” Lambert said after Jaskeir vanished inside the bathroom, “can I steal him for a couple of days?”</p><p>Geralt hummed, “Changing sides so quickly? Or your hungover dissuaded you from going out with Aiden?”</p><p>“You wish, spent too much time trying to get that walk,” Lambert huffed finally starting to clean his messбаrom the floor. “besides, that beauty won’t have a thing from our dear monk here. And Vesemir taught us to help those in need, remember?”</p><p>“That’s fair. So, you thought about how you’ll satisfy him, Eskel?”</p><p>Eskel groaned punching Geralt on his shoulder, “Will you two cut this off? I’ve said that so you’d leave me alone. It’s not even accurate now!”</p><p>“Oh, it’ll be accurate forever now,” Lambert patted Eskel’s shoulder in support, “but yeah, snowman’s right….”</p><p>“Snowman?” Geralt asked arching his brow, “getting short on your imagination?”</p><p>Lambert shrugged, “Hell, I was. Just not in the mood to imagine anything now. Don’t look at me like that, with your hair you’d make a fucking perfect one. And forget about it, we have a more serious matter to discuss.”</p><p>“How is me fucking is any kind of serious?” Eskel asked getting over to the fridge to get something for himself and Jaskier, trying to ignore Lambert’s speech of how regular fucking was good for your and your partner’s health. His brother seemed totally unbothered with a lack of attention and moved on with it, talking especially clearly when he passed near Eskel. Suddenly an idea struck him, “Hey, drunkard. How much does you head hurt?”</p><p>“As much as Vesemir hates Geralt’s cooking,” Geralt only growled which both of his brothers ignored. Everyone in their family knew better than to trust Geralt with cooking. Even Ciri had to ask Eskel to teach her how to cook when she was eleven, just to take this responsibility at their home, “Why?”</p><p>“Perfect,” Eskel grinned and walked to the bathroom, followed by his brother’s confused gazes. He knocked a couple of times to get Jaskier’s attention.</p><p>“What’s that?” the musician asked after a moment, his voice loud and clear as always.</p><p>Lambert winced and hit Eskel with his broom trying to move him away from the door, “Oh no you won’t do that! Geralt, help me shut him the fuck up.”</p><p>“Can you sing us something? It’s getting boring to listen Lambert grumble here.” Geralt shouted instead, while Eskel and Lambert fell on the ground and fought with each other. Lambert managed to get on top of his brother and tried to pin Eskel down, only to end up overpowered.</p><p>“Fucking traitor!” Lambert roared, seemingly forgetting that his head was still killing him. Eskel pressed his younger brother deeper into the floor, covering his mouth with his hand. Lambert was not ready to give up so easily, so he licked Eskel’s palm, and when that proved not working, he bit it.</p><p>“You, fucking, bit me,” Eskel growled blocking Lambert’s hands to make sure he wouldn’t get up. It was first time in years. They had these fights since their childhood, and he knew Lambert very well. So, when the smaller man patted the floor in surrender and relaxed, Eskel released only part of his strength, knowing, that it would be likely that Lambert would use this moment to trip the scales of the fight on his side. Proven right, Eskel easily cut off any attempts of escape and shouted, “Yeah, Jaskier, Lambert is getting insufferable here. Mind diluting his shit with a song?”</p><p>There was a thoughtful noise behind the bathroom door, and as Lamber prepared to say everything he thought about them, Jaskier’s loud voice rang through the room. Eskel got off his brother, grinning widely at this reaction. The poor man shut his eyes tightly and covered his ears trying to muffle the sound a bit. Eskel knew it wouldn’t help his brother to escape this torture. Jaskier once told him that as a part of his training he was made to sing without a microphone in a huge room in a way that an instructor would hear him even on the furthest row. And while Jaskier wasn’t dinging at his full capacity now, it was enough to make Lambert escape to Eskel’s room while grumbling loudly, “You will get back from me, you fucks. These holidays will be a living hell for all of you, for fucks sake.”</p><p>Eskel and Geralt exchanged satisfied glances and decided to clean up the mess a small fight left behind. It didn’t take him long, considering most of the damage was done to the kitchen before an actual brawl, so when Jaskier showed up five minutes later with his face flushed from hot shower, song finished and a grin on his face, Eskel couldn’t help to kiss him again on the forehead.</p><p>“I guess you asking for my song was to torment Lambert, wasn’t it?” the musician asked, taking a seat at the table with Geralt. The white-haired man only smirked and nodded; a wide grin visible on his face. Eskel hummed affirmatively and returned to his task of preparing breakfast. He could hear Jaskier chuckle quietly and say, “That’s good for him.”</p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p>When the date creeped slowly to the middle of December, it felt as if time itself had sped up. Days were getting shorter and shorter; shops had started to prepare for the upcoming New Year and its long holidays. People were getting holiday mood and began going out more which meant more work for everyone involved in the service sector. It included musicians and chefs, meaning there was less and less time for Eskel and Jaskier to spend together. Their timetables had to change almost completely in a span of a couple of days, and now whenever one of them came home, other was already gone or hadn’t returned yet from their shift. Keeping a relationship as a working people was hard as hell during this madness. Everyone overworked themselves to an end, usually returning home when there was no strength left for them to do anything aside from falling on the bed and sleeping. Some were trying to make as much money as possible to make sure their holidays would be great while others just got caught in a crossfire, being forced to work. Everyone got it, it was a usual routine every year, though it didn’t mean it got less of a test for couples. Tired and annoyed people often said words they neither meant nor wanted to say in the first place. And no one was safe from something like this to happen. Eskel and Jaskier weren’t an exception.</p><p>For most times, things were just perfect, really. Whenever they had even the tiniest window, they would spend it together catching up on everything that had happened to them in past days. It was during one of those moments of peace that Eskel learned about a full house on Jaskier’s band concert, which both surprised him and made feeling proud for his little musician. And, well, if they didn’t get a chance to be there for each other physically, they would still be there spiritually. Eskel had never believed before that you could feel the presence of a person even if they aren’t close. It was something bizarre for him, something he hadn’t managed to understand for years he spent into various relationships. Now, however, he understood what it meant. He could feel Jaskeir near him, could see the musician smiling at his little jokes he sent, and even hear Jaskier’s laughter in his ears.</p><p>There were bad times as well. One time they fought over something stupid like whose turn it was to clean the apartment or something. Eskel didn’t even remember clearly all the reasoning behind their argument, even less all those things they said to each other. What he remembered for sure was how they laughed at how ridiculous that whole situation was after talking things over. It wasn’t the only one of their fights, nor was it the worst one, no. By any means, the top spot on Eskel’s list took an argument they had when Lambert just showed up unexpectedly one evening drunk and talking shit about being in a relationship and that Eskel should’ve never started one. Not only did it offended Jaskier, because he was caught in a crossfire, but it also pissed musician to an end when Eskel agreed with his brother. He knew it was a bad idea to argue with Lambert when the man in that state, though he made a mistake by not explaining it to Jaskier first. They said some nasty things to each other that night and stopped talking for a couple of days both understanding that they need to cool off a bit. After their anger settled, they had a good hear to hear with each other, and then with Lambert both asking him not to crush on their heads like snow whenever he felt like drinking.</p><p>The point was, they made it through that and became stronger. Eskel understood now that he was really lucky to be with Jaskier. He listened to his coworkers talking and it seemed like all recent couples had already fallen out of their relationship, unable to pass through this together. They talked about how they didn’t understand each other or were too different to be together. Somehow, he knew this wasn’t the case. At least not entirely. Because it was so simple to brush all problems aside, thinking that it just wasn’t the right person. That it wasn’t the one you would spend your life with. Relationship wasn’t something that magically worked out perfectly. It was something to work upon together. With ugly arguments, fights, and insults at each other’s faces. With days of not speaking to each other and being mad. But at the same time with peaceful evenings together kissing as talking, drinking something light or heavy. Joking and laughing or simply being silent. There were many things a relationship could and, probably, many more it would be. And Eskel was eager to explore them together with Jaskier.</p><p>Eskel smiled at those thoughts and closed a book he was reading. It was one of rare evenings they had together, though slightly different from those. He turned back to look at Jaskier who was working on his laptop at a kitchen table. Lately the musician was working, even more, spending long winter nights up to his chin in various arrangements he had to sort out before the performance itself on next Thursday. Eskel didn’t like it. Jaskier was getting restless and nervous, often paced in the living room checking whether he had done everything he had to. With a small sigh Eskel got up from the sofa and slowly walked to the musician who was now tapping his fingers around the hard surface of the table. He was nervous.</p><p>“You’re overworking yourself again,” Eskel murmured softly in Jaskier’s ear and gently kissed the musician’s cheek.</p><p>Jaskier flinched from surprise, his tapping stopped immediately, “Oh, it’s you, darling,” he said tiredly, relaxing into Eskel’s warm touch, “I know, I know, I just had to make sure everything is perfect.”</p><p>“You’ve reread this table for a dozen times now. Words won’t change themselves if you read it one more time, and it’s already half-past twelve.” It wasn’t the first time this conversation happened, and Eskel knew that if he hadn’t pulled the musician from his laptop, he might as well stay in front of it until the very morning.</p><p>“Already?” Jaskier sighed heavily, his eyes dropping close while Eskel carefully saved all his notes and closed documents, “time truly runs very fast when you have a shit ton of things to do,” he whispered, easily catching Eskel’s lips and pressing another kiss.</p><p>“Hmm. How about we take a break? New Year’s coming soon, and we still don’t have our Christmas tree decorated. Just us for a couple of days off.” He murmured, lowering his voice until it became a pleasant rumbling in the musician’s ear. Jaskier shivered from the sound,</p><p>“What are you talking about, Esk? I can’t leave the band when there’s an important concert ahead,” Jaskier stood up from his chair only to be scooped up in a pair of strong hands. The musician pressed himself closer to Eskel’s broad chest, purring slightly at being held, “they will be overrun with work in no time. No, I can’t make them work themselves out while I have time to rest.”</p><p>“Not they won’t. And didn’t you sign everything? Besides, even if there’s something there’s still that other singer. Madeline. Heard how you were arguing with her recently refusing to take care of yourself.” That argument was a scary thing to witness. Jaskier had been pacing around, crunching his fingers nervously while Madeline lectured him. And the whole situation wasn’t scary not only because Eskel could hear every word that woman said, but because he could see that she was right. Jaskier wasn’t taking care of himself lately. His hair was now messy and curly, an impressive beard covered his face. Those bags under his eyes were so big, someone could easily hide in them, and he hadn’t been eating normally either, always too busy to have something normal for a bite.</p><p>The musician hummed, “I might’ve done that, yes,” Jaskier admitted in defeat. His voice was growing quieter and quieter as they walked to the bedroom, it was just a matter of minutes before he drifted off to sleep. “but they all have their own weight to pull, chores to do at home. Can’t just make them work more, it will be unfair.”</p><p>Eskel rolled his eyes, “And is it fair that you do all this shit alone? Just admit it Jaskier, you’re worrying over nothing again. Give yourself a break, you clearly need it.”</p><p>“Maybe you are right…”</p><p>The ending of a phrase was cut off by Jaskier falling asleep in Eskel’s arm. He carefully put the musician at their bed and sat beside him, stroking those brown locks for a moment or two. Jaskier was many things, hardworking was one of them. It was, actually, a trait Eskel really liked in Jaskier, though seeing how far the musician was willing to go sometimes was a bit worrying, to say at least. As far as he knew, everything had already been done for the performance to run smoothly, but somehow Jaskier found more and reasons to work and nuances they overlooked. Sometimes he even slept in front of his laptop too exhausted by a constant lack of normal sleep.</p><p>Eskel shook his head and placed a kiss on Jaskier’s forehead, noticing how the musician curled up closer, soft smile resting on his lips. He would really need to talk with Jaskeir soon. Otherwise, there was a high chance of him passing out because of exhaustion, and neither of them needed that just mere week before the New Year and well-deserved holidays. Suddenly, there was a muffled sound of telephone ringing somewhere in the kitchen. Eskel looked at the musician’s sleeping form and got up, cursing under his breath. Whoever it was, he was telling them to fuck off. Politely, of course, he didn’t need to make Jaskier even more nervous.</p><p>Meanwhile, the telephone continued to ring. It took Eskel a while to find it under a pile of papers Jaskier was rereading this evening, and he couldn’t help but wonder who would be so desperate for a talk at midnight, “Yes?”</p><p>He doubted he was heard, because a familiar female voice went straight on ranting in his ear, “Jaskier, if you don’t go to sleep this instant, I’ll…” there was a confused pause for a second. The woman on the other end of the line coughed nervously and asked, her voice tense and cautious, “who is this? Eskel, is that you?”</p><p>“Yes, it is.”</p><p>“Thanks, the gods, I thought I messed up with the number. That would’ve been a disaster,” Madeline sounded relieved which made Eskel smirk, “Is that bastard finally asleep?”</p><p>“After I had to drag him away from the computer,” Eskel answered and started to clean up on the table. Various pieces of paper were scattered everywhere, a cup of now cold coffee stood alone forgotten for too long. It was a miracle that Jaskier managed not only work, but also find anything in such terrible mess, “I thought you have everything done already, how’s Jaskier managing to find more work to do and even more reasons to worry about?”</p><p>On the other end of the line, Madeline sighed heavily, “You know him. Whenever something important occurs, he just has to make sure everything is perfect. We’ve signed every paper we needed; nothing can stop us from performing now, not even the owner himself. Not without paying us and fans for the canceled concert, at least” Eskel hummed thoughtfully, looking around for anything he could’ve missed, “the rest of the band is resting and spending time with their families while Jaskier just has to kill himself with paperwork. Can’t you distract him a bit? You’re the one he’s living with, surely there has to be a way to keep him from work for a day or two.”</p><p>Eskel hemmed, “He just keeps telling me that he can’t put all this weight on your shoulders. Pity he can’t see that’s exactly what he’s doing to himself.”</p><p>“Any ideas about how we can make this fool stop before he works his life away?”</p><p>“I have one plan,” Eskel said after a moment of hesitance, “but you’ll need to help me out a bit.”</p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p>Jaskier opened his eyes and blinked sleepily. He felt so refreshed and relaxed, he didn’t want to get out of bed. His back wasn’t aching from sitting for far too long in one position anymore, neither did his eyed felt like someone glued freaking sandpaper to his eyelashes. Eskel was right. He always was. There would be no harm for Jaskier to spend some time for himself, considering that everything was checked and rechecked at least three times now. But he just couldn’t help it. Ever since they signed this contract with the owner of the theater there had been a strange feeling in his gut which just wouldn’t go away. For some unknow reason he was sure something could and would get wrong. It was the biggest concert they would have, something for sure would happen. Speakers won’t work, or their employer found a loophole in all those documents to strip them of their fair earned money. Jaskier knew he was being stupid again. Madeline and Eskel had told him numerous times that everything would be all right and that him rechecking all the papers would only do him bad. And somewhere deep inside he understood that their words were true. He also fully understood that by working so much he would only exhaust himself, that he would miss all those small moments of peace he had with Eskel and arrive tired at the performance itself. But how was he supposed to stop those unsettling thoughts when they just wouldn’t stop vomming back?</p><p>In fact, they only got worse as the date approached closer, and even now, while he continued to lie in his bed enjoying himself, he still couldn’t help but start to slowly fall into that pit again. Who knew, maybe that would’ve been the exact thing to happen to him, it Eskel hadn’t opened the door slowly, one eye peeking carefully inside. Jaskier turned his head to face him and smiled softly. The musician got the same smile in return, and then Eskel walked inside the room. Jaskier breathed in deeply and allowed his eyes to settle on the man in front of him. Eskel was wearing nothing extraordinary. Simple t-shirt and trousers, above which was his white apron he usually took from work for a cleanup. Seeing now how he walked from the door and sat on the bed besides Jaskier, his huge palm stroking gently musician’s hair… It was so good, Jaskier quickly melted in this tender touch, feeling how some parts of his body tingled pleasantly after no moving properly for too long.</p><p>“Good morning, lark,” Eskel murmured warmly. A smile grew wider on Jaskier’s face. How could anyone not fall for this man? Kind, caring, funny, smart… He could spend hours describing how Eskel was too good for him, “how was your night?”</p><p>Instead of answering, Jaskier pushed himself up and placed a kiss on the edge of Eskel’s mouth, “Too good. Shame I will have to return to my work soon and leave all of this. Really, I could spend the whole day like this. Just you and me, nothing else,” words escaped his mouth before he could stop them. He drew his eyes away for a moment, suddenly nervous about what Eskel would say on that, only to return them a moment later and completely disappear in that soft gaze of those chocolate eyes looking back at him.</p><p>He wasn’t sure what he was waiting for. For disgust in Eskel’s eyes, for disappointment written clearly on his face. There was none of that. Instead, Jaskier could see the clear concern in depths of that glance directed at him, and a glimpse of determination sparkling as well. Over the years he got so used to being rewarded for overworking himself, and seeing now that some didn’t expect him to pull all the weight felt odd and unsettling. What was he supposed to do if not work?</p><p>“And you will,” Eskel said eventually, not a note of accusation in his sweet rumbling voice. Jaskier opened his mouth to protest but was shushed with a silent raze of a hand. Not that he was too eager to argue, if he was being honest, “no need to work bloodily when you don’t have to. Madeline will keep an ear out for any news, while you’ll finally take care of yourself.”</p><p>“Alright,” Jaskier breathed out closing his eyes for a moment to realize what he had just got. Time just to spend with the man he loved. It sounded too good to be true. But it was. When he opened his eyes nothing changed, “what have you planned for me, my savior?”</p><p>Eskel grinned and gaмe Jaskier his hand. The musician took it eagerly and was easily pulled out of bed like he wasn’t heavier than a feather. He was turned on the place, and two palms closed his eyes which only spiced up his interest. At that point, there wasn’t much guilt, though he was sure there would be time for that as well. For now, though, Jaskier just allowed himself to feel good about the moment.</p><p>“You’ll see,” the voice rumbled in his ear. He was carefully led out of the room and to another part of the apartment, warm hands keeping him from colliding with obstacles.</p><p>Jaskier smirked and placed his hands over Eskel’s, “How am I supposed to see if you don’t let me?”</p><p>“I just didn’t want to spoil this for you,” palms were lifted from his eyes. Jaskier looked at the table and closed his mouth in surprise. A huge plate of pancakes was standing in the middle of a circle of various filings. It was so long since he had eaten all of this. The musician turned to Eskel who was grinning widely in satisfaction, “I haven’t eaten these since I left my parent’s house. My mum used to cook them just before the new year saying that by eating these, we would summon more sun. It never worked, mind you, but how? How did you know about this?”</p><p>“Madeline sold you out,” Eskel answered pulling a chair away for Jaskier to sit. When the musician was settled and biting into the first bright brown dough circle, he took a chair just near Jaskier and filled his plate as well, “told me that with this kind of breakfast I would make you forget you about everything.”</p><p>“And she was bloody right!” Jaskier moaned slightly from pleasure. He turned to Eskel, hone dripping down his cheek and ridiculous half-grin on his face. Eskel chuckled at him and swapped the drop of amber sweetness with his thumb, “you’re a God, Eskel. I doubt I’ve tried anything like this.”</p><p>“Glad you liked it. Learned it from my father, actually. The old man used to cook these for us every holiday as a treat. Years later passed it to me.”</p><p>Jaskier snorted, “Is today also special? Please, don’t say that you consider me not working as a holiday, I don’t work that much.”</p><p>Eskel rolled his eyes fondly, “Yes you do, Jaskier,” the musician threw a berry from his plate at Eskel, but he just caught it with his mouth and smirked proudly, “Won’t overplay me. I’ve been practicing catching like this since I and Geralt were kids.”</p><p>“Of course, you did. And was your father okay with that? From your tales he didn’t seem like a person to allow those games, if you understand me,” Jaskier winked placing another pancake on his plate. His hands felt sticky, and he was reaching his full state, though still couldn’t resist taking one more. Each was a sunny masterpiece; he wasn’t about to left anything behind if he could help it.</p><p>“No, he didn’t. That led to us practicing in our room which never ended well. Once had to scrape a piece of chocolate from a wall. Geralt decided to be an asshole and threw it at me at full speed. Fortunately, I was smart enough to dodge it. There’s still a stain on that wall. Had to hide it under the poster to make sure Vesemir won’t see it, otherwise, he’d thought we were trying to draw with shit,” the musician started to giggle with his mouth filled with coffee. Eskel grinned watching him struggle and then laughed himself when coffee started to spill through Jaskier’s nose. Somehow, he managed to swallow the rest of his drink, but it still was everywhere on him.</p><p>“Did you have to tell this right now?” Jaskier asked with mock annoyance, coughing slightly, “I could’ve easily drowned in that. Argh, I hate when something like this happens. Now I won’t smell anything aside from coffee for the rest of the day!”</p><p>Eskel smirked passing Jaskier a towel, “Don’t be afraid, you won’t need your sense of smell much today,” Jaskeir huffed at that, trying wiping coffee from his face and hands, “If you’re done eating, let’s clean everything up. It will take us a while to get there, but I’d be worth it.”</p><p>“Am I allowed to know where you are taking me?” he asked intrigued, all bad mood from earlier gone and replaced, “Or you’d take me to the woods for me working so much previous days and kill with my band?”</p><p>“No and no. What’s the point if I spoil a surprise now, right? Besides, if we wanted to kill you for overworking, we would’ve just let you work a bit more.”</p><p>Jaskier pouted in offense and threw the towel he was using to wipe the table at Eskel, but he just turned on his heels and caught it with ease. The musician rolled his eyes and teased, “Are you also trained to do this?”</p><p>“If I say yes, will you make fun of that?”</p><p>“Absolutely. I will also conduct my very own little research to determine what you can and can’t catch,” Jaskeir answered placing a plate over the rest of pancakes mentally promising himself to return to them, while Eskel was busy with washing plates, “you know, in purely scientific reasons.”</p><p>“Sure. Science will benefit from your research so much; the progress will jump ahead far faster,” he earned a clasp on his shoulder from Jaskier who put the plates in the sink and them himself on Eskel’s broad shoulders. He rested his chin near the man’s neck watching how those hands were moving through their task. “Are you comfortable?”, Eskel murmured in the musician’s ear.</p><p>“I am,” Jaskier answered equally quietly, “But you didn’t answer my question.”</p><p>“Then no, I wasn’t trained.”</p><p>“Shame, that research would’ve helped so many poor souls out there. You don’t even imagine how useful it would’ve been.”</p><p>“Right after research how long will it take for us to already leave and go. How about to find that one out?”</p><p>“Is it a dare?” Jaskier pushed himself away, allowing Eskel to lock their eyes, “you know how good I am at dares, you don’t stand a chance,” grin crossed his face.</p><p>Eskel smirked back and started to walk slowly towards the room, “Then let’s find out.”</p><p>***</p><p>After a small competition of who would dress up and leave the apartment first— which Jaskier won fair and square — they left and headed towards the city center. Everywhere he looked, Jaskier could see millions of different bright decorations before an upcoming New Year. Colorful garlands were wound around usually boring streetlights and blocks of flats, many shops had their windows painted in various winter-related pictures. On one of the streets, just in front of the roads, was standing a huge number of a next year made of silver and gold tinsel. Jaskier looked everywhere and was constantly surprised by how much more lively their town looked like now than the last time he was outside, even people themselves seemed happier and more relaxed. Streets were full, everyone minding their own businesses, though he still could see that there were smiles on most of the faces and much more kids. For a brief moment he was sure that he and Eskel somehow had entered another world, but no matter what the picture around him stayed the same.</p><p>Now he thought more about those weeks he spent working at home and was almost terrified at how much he missed out. Maybe it was another world, after all. A different one, where there was no stress of things going wrong and those hours spent rereading the same page because from tiredness he couldn’t understand anything. Jaskier took a deep breath, smile got wider on his face. The air itself seemed magical. It lifted a weight from his shouldersюру didn’t know he was carrying, his heart started to beat faster from excitement. Looking around and walking with Eskel’s arm wrapped around his lower back, made him understand that, perhaps, he should’ve never pushed himself so hard. There was no need to do that. Everything had been already perfect since the moment he put his signature near Madeline’s and doing rechecks of every line was a simple waste of time. He had missed so much. Missed how the city transformed in this fairytale, missed those evenings with the man he loved. Overworking didn’t do anything for him. Well, maybe it would be a good plan for a New Year’s resolution. Control how much he worked. It even sounded good in his head.</p><p>When they reached the city center, that thought only engraved deeper into his head. The whole square was like another chapter in a fairytale Jaskier was in. Carousel, trees, arches, everything was covered in bright garlands which were glimmering softly in lazy falling snow. Half of the place was devoted to an annual bazaar where all sorts of decorations were sold for those who didn’t have a chance to stock on them just yet. People were enjoying themselves; laughter could be heard everywhere. Eskel turned to him to say something, but Jaskier simply grabbed his hand and pulled the man over to the first stall, laughing brightly himself. Eskel was confused for a second, before smiling widely at the musician’s antics. He planned to buy new toys for their Christmas tree anyway, Jaskier simply sped up the process a bit. With a fond expression on his face and a warm feeling inside he could see how smaller man was hopping around interested and fascinated with everything. Gone were those tired eyes, now they sparkle as bright as all those lights around them. Eskel shook his head, still smiling himself. He would need to thank Madeline for hints she gave him. She was the one who told him about Jaskier’s childhood tradition, and his undying love for beautiful balls and toys for Christmas trees.</p><p>“Come here, Eskel! You have to see that!” Jaskier’s bright from happiness voice rang through the crowd. The musician somehow found himself at the furthest stall with at least three balls in his hands. Eskel watched him run around for a moment longer before joining this adventure of picking decorations.</p><p>It took them a couple of hours to get everything and then carry a box full of toys to their apartment. After their hands were full, they left the bazaar and got slightly distracted by a gorgeous carousel Jaskier simply had to ride before they went home, so while Eskel was guarding their purchases, the musician went for a ride. He could see how Jaskier laughed with his eyes closed, both children and their parents giving him sometimes an odd look which didn’t bother the man at all. Eskel could watch for hours how content and happy Jaskier was, how he was smiling, laughing and simply being alive again. All the way back to their home they chatted about everything and nothing at the same time. He remembered a few stories from his childhood, Jaskier told some about his. Eskel told him about an invitation from Vesemir to join their family celebration after they would be done with the concert, and the musician eagerly agreed. There was nothing that could spoil this year for him. He was sure about that before, and now it only permanented in his head. An evening with his family and the man the lowed. What could be better?</p><p>“What are you thinking about, love?” Jaskier ashes softly, his head resting on Eskel’s chest. They were sitting on their sofa, cuddled together as close as they only could, and enjoyed the view of their now decorated Christmas tree. It looked a bit like a mess of whatever toys they managed to find, but for them it was perfect.</p><p>“Just how happy I’m to have you, Jaskier,” he murmured in musician’s ear, too content to raise his voice.</p><p>Jaskier giggled and moved closer, his free hand wrapping around Eskel’s body. “Me too. Never thought it was possible for anyone to pull me out of the work and create such a perfect day just for the two of us,” he smirked and threw his head back gently to look at Eskel’s eyes, “Thank you,” Jaskier whispered, voice soft and relaxed, “I know it could be hard with me sometimes. You know, with me working my life away and being all workaholic and stuff.”</p><p>Eskel hummed deeply, “There’s nothing wrong with you, Jaskier. All of us can be dumb sometimes and work ourselves too hard,” he earned a light slap on his chest and a halfhearted huff in response, “Just promise me you won’t neglect yourself like this again. Or I’ll have to bring heavy artillery next time.”</p><p>“Really, and what would be it?” Jaskier asked curiously.</p><p>“Madeline. She was ready to kill you if this whole plan didn’t work.”</p><p>Jaskier gasped, “Betrayed, by my own boyfriend and best friend. I’m done, there’s no one out there to save me from this world full of atrocities.”</p><p>“I love you too, Jaskier,” Eskel smirked and pressed a kiss to the musician’s forehead.</p><p>Jaskier closed his eyes and purred. “Okay, okay, you won. Just don’t give me away to Made. She will really not hesitate and kill me.”</p><p>“Never.”</p><p>***</p><p>Just as it happened whenever you waited for something, it didn’t take long for the rest of the week to pass. After their small holiday, Jaskier brushed everything he had been doing before and turned to care more about himself, and not allowing him to do more than actually needed. Which wasn’t much to begin with. Just turn up at rehearsals where they ran a few times through their program and checked that nobody messed up sound settings. After that the musician eagerly went home to spend some time with Eskel who was also getting more of his free time lately. A couple of days ago Lambert went behind his back to the restaurant where he had a rather interesting conversation with the owner and got Eskel a couple more days off with a promise to pay the whole salary for December. Lambert claimed it was his present for a New Year and that there was no chance Eskel was getting anything else, but he was so happy he couldn’t find it in himself to be angry with his younger brother’s adventures at his work. After all, the restaurant wouldn’t benefit from simply firing him and in less than a week he himself would be free from his contract, so it meant nothing if his employer tried to do something shitty. Knowing Lambert’s methods of dealing with these kinds of problems, — which definitely didn’t include him bringing a couple of knives and Aiden in tow, — it was more likely the man would be more tolerable, than anything else. And now, as Eskel and Jaskier walked into the theatre and to the needed concert hall, he was glad things turned out this way. He got to spend New Year’s Eve with the man he loved and then with his family. Whole family. He couldn’t wish for anything more that evening.</p><p>When they walked into the concert hall Eskel understood what had Jaskier so worked up lately. As the concert date approached closer, the musician became restless again. He was reciting music, checking his guitar and other instruments his band played on to make sure everything was perfect. Seeing now the hall where the band would have to perform explained what the whole fuss was about. The place was huge, and even though every second seat had to be skipped for people’s safety, a virus be dammed, it still looked like there would be at least a thousand people inside, and who knew how may fans would wait just outside to get a glimpse of their favorite band performing while attending to other performers as well. The theatre decided to organize something close to a music festival, where many groups were performing. The whole building was divided into zones access to which was gained only after buying a ticket, but as Jaskier pointed out, there was still a chance to access those bands who took the open stage outside and a couple places inside without actually paying. Eskel just smirked on that, perfectly knowing that people would use that loophole and that not all measures would apply this evening.</p><p>He stopped at the top taking all the space inside, whereas Jaskeir rand down the row with a loud yelp of happiness to a group of people standing just at the bottom of the room, chatting with each other. Eskel watched how Jaskier flung himself on a tall dark-haired woman dressed into a long white gown. She stumbled a bit from sudden assault, but other members of the band caught both soloists. Loud laughter rang in the room, and Eskel’s heart warmed at the picture in front of him. Jaskier was happy. Even this far he could see how the musician jumped up and down in excitement, how he chattered loudly with his friends. They laughed together at something once again, and then the biggest part of the team went backstage to get ready for their performance, while Jaskier and Madeline stayed for a couple minutes more. Eskel walked down as well, thinking, that there was no better sight in the whole world than seeing his family happy. And yes, Jaskier became his family. There was no guarantee that when his career took off, Jaskier wouldn’t forget about a humble cook and leave for someone better suited for a world-famous singer, though he was unbothered with this possibility at all. He knew Jaskier. And could be sure that whatever was waiting for them behind the horizon would never divide them from one another.</p><p>Madeline was first to see him coming. She nodded to him and said to Jaskier, her hands slightly squished his shoulders, “See you, flower, at the back. Don’t spend the whole evening cooing with each other, we still have a concert to give,” she winked at them and left without anything else.</p><p>Jaskier rolled his eyes and turned to Eskel, bright emotions radiating from his small for everywhere. He couldn’t help but smile. It was hard to keep a straight face when the musician in front of him was actually beaming at him, “She will never find a man for herself,” he said mockingly, still referring to Madeline. There was a loud ‘I can still hear you’ from the back, which made both men chuckle.</p><p>“Guess she’ll not agree with you,” Eskel pointed out softly, while his gaze studied Jaskier closely. The musician looked dashing today. He wore a white shirt which was unbuttoned slightly and revealed dark body hair. Above it was a dark blue vest with the same-colored trousers. His hair was purposely messed up and the finishing touch to this somewhat feral look added a long coat that touched the floor. Eskel could see wrinkles around Jaskier’s eyes from the smile, which was currently shining brightly on the musician’s face, a small shiver of nervousness that ran through his body. To support his love, Eskel placed his hands on Jaskier’s side bringing him closer and whispered, not wanting the acoustics to spread his word for the band backstage, “Everything will be fine, lark. There’s no need to worry, your performance will be perfect.”</p><p>“And just when I thought nothing could make this eyeing better you say something sweet like this,” Jaskeir chuckled and shook his head, “I’m not nervous, actually. Well, not to an extend you might think of, at least,” Eskel smirked knowing that it was only half-true, “alright, alright, I am nervous. It’s just, we have a full house, anything could go wrong.”</p><p>“It won’t, you made sure of that,” Eskel said bringing Jaskeir closer to himself. His hands wrapped around Jaskier’s back in a bear hug he had always given when his brothers or father needed a small reminder that they would be fine.</p><p>Jaskier rested his chin on Eskel’s shoulder, pressing himself closer, and placed a soft kiss on Eskel’s ear, “I hope you’re right. The God himself doesn’t know how important this thing is. I love you,” another kiss, “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”</p><p>Before Eskel could answer anything, a loud voice echoed from behind them, making the pair broke their hug and turn around together at once, “Well, Julian. Just when I thought you couldn’t fall any lower, I see you kissing another man.”</p><p>“Mother,” Jaskier hissed looking daggers at this woman.</p><p>Her lips twitched into a snarl; blue eyes stared Jaskeir down. If Jaskier’s eyes were like the sky on a sunny day: warm and welcoming, this woman’s were like the coldest blizzard in the middle of the winter. Eskel tried to match what tiny bits he heard about the musician’s family, but could not imagine that a woman, who baked her kids pancakes telling them that it would bring sun, had something to do with this one who was still glaring furiously at both of them.</p><p>“Julian. Tell me, is this pathetic place worth your talents? You would’ve been such a good doctor, but instead, you chose to go to a music college,” her voice was high and regal just like the hall around them. Her bright shimmering gown was swiping the floor, glove hand rested on her chest. “your only duty was to never disappoint us. We gave you the finest things in life, even paid for your education. And this how you repay us? By staying here, with these lowlifes, and touching him with your lips?” she scornfully flicked her wrist in Eskel’s direction which made him growl. He wrapped his hand around Jaskier protectively and brought the musician close. “See? He is not even a human. A beast, if you please. Wild and unpredictive.”</p><p>“Don’t you dare,” Jaskier growled, his voice an octave lower than usually. He slipped out of Eskel’s embrace and walked towards his mother, each step slow and weighty. “don’t you ever dare to accuse my partner,” he pointed his finger right into woman’s face, anger clear in his voice. She narrowed her eyes at him, her nose wrinkled. None of them made a move as the musician continued, “Eskel is the best thing that happened with me. After I left, no, it can’t be even called leaving. After I fled from your house, mother, I had to pick myself up again. You’d be surprised, but when you tell a fucking child that they are supposed to be this, like that, and behave this way, they stop knowing themselves. My music helped me to cope with that. It still does. And after all those months I’ve spent drowning myself in work just not to think that I couldn't be proud of something, Eskel stepped into my life. And he is a fucking gift, and you will either tolerate him or fuck off from my life forever,” he turned on his heels and walked away from his mother, stopping only when he reached Eskel. He looked at the musician and saw tears wailing in those eyes. Without much thinking, he once again brought Jaskeir close offering what little comfort he could in this situation. He wanted to step up, to protect his lower, just to do anything. But this wasn’t his battle to win. Jaskier had to do this on his own. “if I was you, I would choose the latter.”</p><p>Silence fell for a second in the hall, two pairs of eyes looking at each other. Until the woman spoke again. “Remember what I told you when you were younger? That you had to do three things in this world. One, be something greater. Two, go make a legacy. Three, manifest destiny. You’ve failed miserably at all of them. Stay away from our home. One step inside and you’ll never come out!”</p><p>And with that, she was gone. Jaskier swore loudly, still looking angerly at the doors which were now slowly closing after his mother’s exit. Eskel turned to musician and placed a hand on his shoulder, silent promise not to lent anything to happen with him. Jaskier shivered under his touch and placed his own hand over his, covering bigger palm with smaller. They could hear the band standing behind them on the stage, shocked and not knowing what to do, then a couple of moments later there was a voice announcing that the audience would be allowed inside in ten minutes. They didn’t have much time, there were still many things to do before the performance, but it still took some time before Jaskier turned and quietly thanked Eskel. He only nodded in response. That was just one of those moments when no words were actually needed between them.</p><p>***</p><p>People were filling the hall quickly, everyone overly excited about and upcoming performance. The whole atmosphere was so infectious, Eskel also felt somewhat heightened up about the whole thing. A small part of him was still worried about Jaskier and how he would deal with everything right now, but the man seemed fine when Madeline took him backstage to dress him up with microphones, so he tried to persuade himself that things were under control for now. There was no backing away, only going forward. Besides, he could still take care of Jaskier back at his place where there wouldn’t be anyone or anything that could spoil their New Year together. Still, even these thoughts didn’t help much with an unsettling feeling of helplessness inside of him, just like the one he felt during the whole conversation with Jaskier’s mother. It still felt foreign in his head how someone could be so cruel to their own child, especially if the said child was someone like Jaskier. The musician was one of the best people Eskel had ever met. Kind, caring, self-sacrificing… he could name good things about Jaskier for a day on end. And he would. Just not now, a bit later.</p><p>There was a voice again. A female voice announcing that the concert will start any minute now and asking fans not to throw anything at the band. Eskel didn’t want to know why exactly that warning was made. Instead, he glued his eyes to the stage watching first musicians arrive at their places. They walked in silence, not a sound was coming from them. The crowd quietened as well. There were no voices of fascinated fans discussing the latest album which came out a mere couple of weeks ago, no musicians playing just yet. It felt like a soft blanket covered the whole place for a moment, quieting everyone before the main fun started. Eskel could swear he could hear something, though. A soft sound coming from the speakers, as if winter was howling quietly somewhere around them.</p><p>It slowly grew louder and louder, picked up its pace. Soon I shifted into a sound of full raging blizzard. Everyone looked around in search of the singers. Eskel looked as fell.</p><p>There was a movement at the back of the stage.</p><p>Then another one.</p><p>And in one heartbeat both Madeline and Jaskier stepped from the darkness. Just as the wind started to howl more viciously, Jaskier started to sing softly, his voice the only thing audible in the whole hall aside from the wind on the background. Carefully, Madeline started to sing as well. At first it was mostly Jaskier singing, though as the song progressed, Madeline joined more and more, at first equaling and then overpowering the song. Everyone listened to it with their mouths open, watching every move on the stage. Eskel was not an exception.</p><p>Just as the last note rang in the air, there was a sudden shift in the tone. No more it felt quiet and lyrical, no. Drums and guitars started their part of already another song, their sound erupting hundreds of screams erupt from the crowdв Madeline and Jaskeir circled each other, feral grins on their faces as their voices lifted all the way to the ceiling making everyone stand up and join in one unison choir.</p><p>Eskel watched Jaskeir in amazement. He was not musician by any means, but even he could tell that the work behind the whole thing was much, much more that he ever thought. He only got to witness Jaskeir practice his parts at their home, but hearing his voice now, with Madeline singing with the same level of emotions, was overpowering. It sunk deep into his bones, the souls of two soloists colliding with his and sharing their emotions with everyone present. If someone had asked Eskel what exactly he had felt at that concert he would’ve been unable to answer something intelligible. How could he name this feeling of softence and ferocity overlapping and sometimes overweighing each other from song to song? The feeling when all he wanted to do was to sit somewhere in the forest and dance around a large bonfire with a bottle of something strong and his family around? And, finally, how could he describe that tug in his chest? That relief and proudness which poured over him like an unstoppable force?</p><p>Eskel felt so much different things at the time which somehow seemed to work just well enough with each other. The fact that he knew what was lying behind that music, knew, even if partly, what Jaskier had to face to achieve this success he had. It made him drunk. Drunk on his love for the man who was now dancing around the stage looking almost ethereal. And those blue eyes. Gods they were so expressive. They looked and many different places. Sometimes at Madeline and other musicians, sometimes at the crowd which was going wild with every song. And sometimes, they looked right at him. Whether it was something slow and gentle or a song where Jaskier was screaming his heart out it didn’t matter, Eskel could read every emotion the musician experienced. Sadness at one place, endless joy, and excitement at another. There were so many things passing through that gaze it made Eskel wondered how someone could feel so many things so fast and so pure. It wasn’t even a question of whether emotions were true. They definitely were. Raw and wild, unstable and everchanging, never feeling quite the same.</p><p>It was hard to take track of anything. Everything was just an amazing mess of people enjoying both to create and to listen to the creations of others. No one was sitting, some were even standing on their seats too excited to stop themselves from moving. But just like with all beautiful things even this concert had to finish at one point. Slowly, songs started to shift to something slow again, just like at the beginning. Only now did Eskel understand that it was a full circle of songs getting wilder before dropping down the tension back to the starting point. Meanwhile, Jaskeir and Madeline finished another song and stopped for a moment to catch a breather and let the crowd relax a bit just like the band. Everyone was waiting for the band to start to play, and the final song to start. But it wasn’t happening. Instead, Jaskeir slowly walked to one of the guitarists and borrowed his guitar. Madeline eagerly placed a chair for him in the middle of the stage, a mischievous smirk crossed her face when her eyes locked up with Eskel’s. After letting the crowd to relax a bit from all the excitement, Jaskeir adjusted the microphone on his ear and said, voice excited and slightly nervous. “Last song everyone for today! I just wanted to say that it was written for someone important to me, and I can’t thank them enough for their support.” Those blue eyes stopped on Eskel for a moment, a smile crossed Jaskier’s face, “Fair for everyone present here!”</p><p>The crowd cheered loudly and then suddenly silenced as the first notes of the song escaped the guitar on the stage. Jaskier’s fingers moved quickly along the strings, his voice ever so beautiful in the air. Eskel moved closer to the edge of his seat, listening closely to every word which escaped Jaskier’s lips.</p><p><em>I've seen enough, " he says, "I know exactly what I want"</em> <em><br/>And it's this life that we've created<br/>Inundated with the fated thought of you<br/>And if you asked me to, if you asked me, I would lose it all</em></p><p>Eskel smiled softly when the musician’s gentle gaze fell on him and didn’t leave. This song was the best out of all of those he had ever heard. And not just because it was meant for both of them, but rather the memories this song brought. As Jaskeir sung, Eskel could see everything they had come through together during this month. How they had walked together in parks and forests, laughing and swapping stories with each other, how they had spent evenings arguing about something stupid. How they had argued and made up again, how they teased and fought both playfully and no so much. Every little moment they shared together was now playing before their ever eyes — he was sure that Jaskier was also seeing all of this — sharing them once again just with each other. There were no other people around them. And even though the song was sung for hundreds of people, and even more of those who listened to the album online or this concert in recording, it still felt pretty much like one of their first evenings together. Just two of them. Jaskier singing, and Eskel thinking, recalling on little pleasantries in his head.</p><p><em>Oh, how, oh, how unreasonable</em> <em><br/>How unreasonably in love I am with everything you do<br/>I'll spend my days so close to you<br/>'Cause if I'm stood here, then I'm stood here<br/>And I'll stand here<br/>I'll stand here with you.</em></p><p>The last words died in the air; guitar followed soon after. There was a moment of silence before the crowd began screaming once again, cheering the band who was now bowing deeply for everyone and wishing them a happy New Year. Proper lightning returned to the hall, people were leaving it, chatting and exchanging their opinions loudly with each other. And only one was still sitting there on the front row right in front of the stage, looking somewhere on his left where another wave of happy voices was audible.</p><p>A figure ran from outside and to the only left man.</p><p>He stood up from his place and easily caught the smaller man into his hands, lifting him up from the ground like he weighed nothing.</p><p>“I love you; I love you so much,” the musician, tears falling down his cheeks, voice slightly hoarse after singing for so long.</p><p>The second man carefully lowered him to the ground, “I love you too, lark,” he pulled the musician closer, their lips touching in so wanted, but still soft and gentle kiss. They pulled only for a moment for him to whisper again, before another kiss, “I love you too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Happy New Year eve, everyone (at least it's what I have in my country now)! As you see, the number of chapters changed. It's because I'm going to write a lil New Year special epilogue, so we're not done with our boys yet. I will try to publish it during the 1st of January, but we shall look at how things will go, really.<br/>Anyway, I hope that you're all staying safe. This year was shit, we can all agree on that, so let's wish that the next one would be better. Have a nice time and see you soon)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm terribly sorry for being late five days now. There were some things I had to deal with, and I finally had time to finish this last chapter. Have fun)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eskel carefully turned the car to a side road which would lead them straight to Vesemir’s house. Jaskier was sleeping next to him on a passenger seat, head pressed against the window. He couldn’t help but smile. After they had left the theater, the musician spent some time cheering and celebrating with his band, every member of which was high with excitement. After all, the concert was a huge success. Various platforms were overfilled with different photos, videos, and comments about the whole thing, in which fans were discussing every song in so many details. Eskel was somehow sure that the band itself didn’t know about half of those hidden meanings which were found in their compositions. Jaskier and Madeline didn’t leave their chance to laugh at some of the wildest theories, before Jaskier finally called it a night and got in the car, only to fall asleep minutes later too exhausted by everything to fight with sleep any longer.</p><p>A smile crossed his face, as the car turned again. The musician grumbled something indecipherable in his slumber, without even waking up. Eskel couldn’t even find in himself to care that Jaskier would, probably, miss the President’s speech at midnight and the first part of the night with his family. Knowing Lambert and Geralt, both of them were already halfway to sleeping in a salad by this time, and Ciri would probably be chilling with Vesemir making sure those drunkards wouldn’t mess up too much, so there was nothing to actually miss. Besides, the fact that Jaskier would around was enough of happiness for Eskel. His family had heard many things from him about the musician, and his niece even was a fan of their band. And while Jaskier also knew something about them, it was still perfect that they got to spend part of their holidays as one big family. After all, it was what Eskel considered Jaskier to be. A family. He had no plans on leaving this ridiculous and childish man any time soon, and after the song performed today in front of the other people was enough proof.</p><p>His heart warmed as he thought about the song once again. It was a miracle that Jaskier managed to keep it a secret for so long since he had an almost pathological lack of patience when it came to these things. Eskel didn’t care about that either. There was something in the way Jaskier’s eyes were shining with so much love and passion, it sometimes surprised him how all of this could even fit into this man. Yes, Jaskier was an emotional person. A complete opposite of his own character, if you really thought about that. A cheerful bard who experienced so much and so fully, and a stoic kind chef who preferred to keep feeling close to himself sharing only with his close ones. But, Eskel figured, it didn’t really matter. It didn’t matter how different they were or how similar. Relationships weren’t about that. They were about working together, making each other better people and simply enjoying being together. About being there when another needed, about conversations late at night when one of you couldn’t sleep and needed company. About a small note with a cup of coffee when one had to go. It was about many things, but definitely not the differences. Now Eskel knew that.</p><p>Soon, the house in which he grew up appeared, and the car stopped. Eskel got out of the vehicle and opened the door on Jaskier’s side careful not to disturb the musician himself. By this point, Jaskier wasn’t leaning on the window anymore which considerably simplified the task at hand. With a soft smile on his face and hands pressing the smaller man close to his chest, he walked to the house. Jaskier only cuddled closer to him in desperate attempts to get a bit warmer. The musician looked so precious. His hair a complete mess encouraged by wax which he used before the performance, clothes crumpled, a small smile on his lips. Now Eskel really understood why Vesemir looked so happy when one of them fell asleep in the car when they were kids. There was something in the whole process which couldn’t leave anyone involved indifferent.</p><p>There was a slight challenge to open the front door, though after knocking enough times slightly annoyed Vesemir appeared and helped Eskel out. Despite the time passing, Vesemir still looked pretty much the same. And definitely was as strong as before. He might’ve had a bunch crows-feet all over his face, and both hair and mustache were greay, but when around a month ago Ciri fell asleep on his coach Vesemir easily carried the teenager all the way to her room which was something to admire him for. Eskel was, actually, glad that time was kind to his father. He didn’t want to imagine what it would be like to see his only parent become weak and helpless and was happy that those times wouldn’t come anytime soon.</p><p>Vesemir smiled warmly at his son and the sleeping form in his hands, “That concert of his took everything, huh?”</p><p>“You didn’t see him. It was surprising he lasted that long, some of those dances were wild as hell.”</p><p>“I’ve seen. Ciri found a recording of it. An active fellow you found yourself son. Just like you, when you were younger,” Vesemir teased stepping aside and letting Eskel inside. The house seemed almost too quiet which was possible when either his brothers were already sleeping or weren’t there at all. He gave his father a questioning look and got a sigh in return, “those two are here, unfortunately. They’re outside with Aiden, like hell would I let them stay inside. I still want my house intact tomorrow.”</p><p>“Were anyone angry that we missed the whole thing?” Eskel asked heading to the staircase. The thing was, that their family usually was very protective of their traditions. It was one of those rules which no one really established, but you could always tell that everyone was following it. On New Year the main one was to gather up together and have a dinner during which all sort of things was exchanged. Starting with news and polite discussions about global matters, ending with curses and fights closer to midnight. It was something they all shared and loved, and he would’ve really liked to have Jaskier witness it. Still, Eskel was happy how things worked out at the end of the day. There would be enough occasions for Jaskier to witness this magic and really become a part of their wild family. He was sure others understood that as well.</p><p>And he wasn’t wrong, “No, we know that it was a big thing for you two,” Vesemir answered stopping himself at the foot of the staircase. Eskel stood just one step above the ground, his face turned to look in his father’s happy eyes, “everyone is happy for you. Hope you won’t blow this thing up.”</p><p>Both of them chuckled, “I won’t. Promise.”</p><p>“Good,” Vesemir patted his hand, “you know, you might become my favorite son yet. Seriously, Lambert and Geralt are gonna drive me mad one day. Might as well want to kick them out before they do.”</p><p>Eskel lifted one of his brows, “Really? And who will be the source of all those games in the snow? Say whatever you want, but without those two some of the magic will be gone.”</p><p>Vesemir rolled his eyes, “You might be up to something,” then there was a loud crash outside, followed by no less loud laughter of three men, “remember the devil… Go get your musician sorted before the house goes down. Or Ciri finds you.”</p><p>Just as he said that another voice shouted from the first floor, “Grandpa, is that Eskel’s car outside? Are they here already? Are they? Are they?”</p><p>“God give me strength,” the old man sighed again and walked away from the stairs, his voice shouting back loudly, “wherever they are, they will surely hear you!”</p><p>Eskel looked at his father’s retrieving back and then to the musician in his arms. This was his family. Loud and ridiculous, sometimes drunk and stupid. But it was just the way they worked together. Voices were shouting at each other outside, loud chatter of Ciri who described all shenanigans to her mother Yennefer who never stayed long enough to witness things herself; and blasting of the TV from the living room where Vesemir enjoyed all those late shows before the President's address. Everything was so loud it might’ve been impossible for someone to sleep through all of this. Yet, Jaskier was still sweetly asleep, his hands were still holding tightly to Eskel’s neck, and no signs of distress were written on his peaceful face. Well, if all of those sounds didn’t wake the musician, he would make for a perfect family member.</p><p>***</p><p>The next morning Eskel woke up from sounds coming just outside of their room. He opened his eyes, to see Jaskier still snuggled close to him, and a wide smile crossed his face. More sounds were coming from behind the door, and he could swear he heard Lambert whispering to someone. With a soft moan of displeasure, he rolled on his back and closed his eyes with the palms of his hands. Voices behind the door grew closer, and the floor was creaking softly, which were no good signs, especially if Lambert was a part of this. He looked at the sleeping musician who was blissfully unaware of what was about to happen. If he was lucky, he would be able to deal with his brother before something weird and, probably, dangerous happened to either of them. Or Vesemir decided to step in and stop them completely. That would be a disaster in itself.</p><p>Still, when the door squeaked and a head peeked inside, Eskel just pretended to be asleep. The trick worked, and whoever these prankers were, they carefully walked in, trying to make the least amount of sounds possible. Which they did surprisingly well, considering that the floor in this house hadn’t been changed since the day their family moved in here. <em>Glad Vesemir didn’t agree to do that. At least now I can bust them. </em>Just as he thought about that, Eskel felt someone touch the blanket they were sleeping under, carefully moving it away. He grinned and opened his eyes to see Lambert leaning over him, and Aiden frozen on the other side of the bed.</p><p>“Crap,” Aiden swore quietly, still standing with a bowl full of snow in his hands, “he woke up.”</p><p>“Hey, can we just pretend you didn’t see that?” Lambert asked, not moving his hands from the blankets. Eskel lifted an eyebrow and grabbed his pillow tighter, “fuck, run!”</p><p>And with that, both men bolted to the door barely avoiding a pillow and a book flying right behind them. Jaskier startled awake from loud sounds of swearing and things colliding with a wall. He looked around sleepely.</p><p>“Don’t tell me that was Lambert again?” he asked falling back on the bed. Jaskier buried his face under the pillow, groaning, “what did he attempt this time?”</p><p>Eskel sighed, “Looks like shove some snow under our blanket,” he listened closely to shouts erupting from the first floor. Ciri was already chirping excitedly about the fact that their prank didn’t work out and suggested that new ideas, while Vesemir surely beat the shit out of both of those prankers, “up to go down and see how my dad scowls to grown-up men, probably using a broom as a weapon?”</p><p>Jaskier giggled and looked from under his pillow, eyes shining with mischief, “I'd like to. But do we get to put all that snow they gifted to us in their room, before going down? Might as well use this chance to pay him back for the time he clued all our cups to the table?”</p><p>“You are a genius, you know that?” Eskel asked leaning to kiss the musician’s lips.</p><p>“Well, people tend to say that,” Jaskier smiled slipping out of the hug he found himself into. Eskel looked lazily at how the musician pulled clothes over his body and then picked up the bowl, “Now, up, up or our revenge will melt.”</p><p>“Don’t worry, there’s a window in Lambert’s room, and it overlooks a roof. Will get as much snow as we want,” he smirked, climbing out of the comfort of his bed. Eskel looked with a small smile at how Jaskier beamed from the news and was shifting from one leg to another, barely staying still in one place, “you can go ahead. It’s across the bathroom. Just leave me the bed, I will be over there soon.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Jaskier sung placing a kiss on his cheek, before rushing away with a bowl in his hands.</p><p>Eskel rolled his eyes, a smile still shining on his face. While dressing and looking for a lock the room, in case the prankers decide to have revenge of their own later which was a high possibility. He remembered how Lambert was when he was younger, and nothing had changed since that time, it was for sure. It was, actually a reason, both Eskel and Geralt insisted to have locks in their rooms to have at least some means of protection. And if Eskel knew that Lambert had a copy of a key from Geralt’s room, well, he wouldn’t tell anyone. New Year’s holidays were two weeks of both bonding and driving each other crazy with stupid jokes. Only the strongest survived with the least number of things ruined in the process and bruises on their body. Which usually was a lot. Last year Lambert managed to have his arm broken by Geralt who threw him in a snowdrift too hard. Well, Geralt got a concussion back, after Lambert pushed him while they were ice-skating, so they were practically even.</p><p>Despite usual madness in their house and a clear possibility of ending up in an emergency room, Eskel wasn’t afraid of Jaskier getting hit in the crossfire. They were stupid, but they knew the boundaries of each other strength and would never do something that could result in either of them dead. And it wasn’t that the musician was a weak type as well. He wasn’t like Ciri, who was both young and not strong enough to participate in some of their shenanigans. The man had some muscles on his bodie, and for sure wasn’t short on speed. If anything, he should worry about his brothers. The man definitely knew his shit and with the speed and energy of a child high on sugar, Jaskier was a dangerous opponent in the prank war.</p><p>Eskel was proven right the second he walked into Lambert’s room where Jaskier had already managed to shove a lot of snow inside through an opened window. Somewhere the musician found a pair of mittens which were a bit bigger than needed but still provided enough protection from biting cold, while he showed more snow with the same bowl Aiden carelessly brought to their room. There was also a starting of a snowman right on Lambert’s bed.</p><p>“How did you manage to do all of this while I was away?” Eskel asked in disbelief, eagerly joining the process. He picked walked up to the snow figure and started to use some snow to plant it better to the bed. His hands protested from being used as shovels, though he didn’t find it in himself to care about it. It would definitely be worth it later.</p><p>Jaskier sighed, shaking his whole body to get some warmth in his bones, “Darling, I’ve studied in Oxenfurt Academy to get my degree, being stupid and drinking were our only means of entertainment after endless classes. And, well, when you have a window to climb in, do a prank and climb back in ten minutes, you tend to learn how to do things fast,” he walked away from the window to have a better look at what was done and grinned, “Besides, I’d rather not be here when all of this freezes together.”</p><p>“Me neither. Now, I know where Lambert’s favorite clothes usually are, let’s finish it and dress it up a bit.”</p><p>It took them some time to manage to get some clothes on the snowman and a lot of coordination not to throw it over the bed and ruing the whole work completely, but in the end, they got the task done. Giggling like a pair of children they looked over their creation and left, closing the door behind to make sure no one found out about it too soon. Climbing down the stairs, they could start hearing words more clearly. It looked like things settled down a bit, and there was no fighting going on, at least for now, and Eskel was hoping he could really introduce Jaskier without any troubles. He could sense that the musician in question was growing a little nervous as they stopped at the bottom of the stairs.</p><p>Before they entered the kitchen, Eskel placed his hands on Jaskier’s shoulder’s and looked him in the eyes, “Everything will be fine. Geralt and Lambert already know you’re good, Ciri is a fan of yours, be careful she might trade us all for a chance to get your autograph,” the musician chuckled, “and Vesemir was fine yesterday and will be as long as you don’t bring this house down with us.”</p><p>Jaskier breathed in and nodded, “Okay, got it. I just, you’re important to me, and I don’t want to blow things with your family.”</p><p>“You won’t,” Eskel reassured him, patting his hands, “really, we’re not that serious, I’m sure you know that by now. Just be yourself, and they will love you. We still have two weeks to drive you mad, you might run away, but not the opposite.”</p><p>The musician smiled, hugging Eskel, “Thank you, I really needed to hear that,” there was a sound of something breaking, and then a new wave of curses followed. Both of them stumbled away from each other, listening carefully to how a word fight moved to a real one, “well, I guess we need to hurry a bit.”</p><p>“You’re right,” he sighed and lead Jaskier towards the kitchen. What they saw there was a spectacular show of how any normal family should not be working. Ciri and Aiden were filming a fight between Lambert and Vesemir, while Geralt pressed his head to the table, covering his ears with his hands. A broom flew past them when Lambert jumped over a chair to escape Vesemir’s wraith. Eskel pinched a bridge of his nose and grumbled, “lo and behold, Morhen’s family. Morons would’ve served us better.”</p><p>Jaskier took his time to get the image in his head. At some point, Eskel was sure he would turn and decide to leave this house for good, and if he was being honest, he wouldn’t have blamed him for this decision. However, soon the initial shock left the musician’s body. Jaskier smiled widely and said, enjoying how the people in front of them were fighting with each other.</p><p>“This is amazing,” Jaskier said after a moment more of looking at the chaos with huge eyes, “you think they will be done soon?”</p><p>Eskel smirked and wrapped his hand around the musician’s waist, bringing him closer. Knowing by experience, they would be lucky if this whole mess ended in the next ten minutes, but if Lambert broke any more plates than he had already, it could extend to an hour, “No chance.”</p><p>So, they stood there, watching how the kitchen was slowly getting destroyed by Eskel’s family. Jaskier watched in amusement how no one tried to be overly polite or all courtesy, trying to appear far better than they were in reality like his own parents had always done. There was none of that. He didn’t even want to have it any other way. He knew Eskel’s brothers long enough to tell that the rest of their family would be something similar. Something crazy and funny, if sometimes dangerous, but at the same time fiercely loyal to one another. They might give shit to each other, but he had seen how happy Lambert had been when that awful boss backed off from Eskel. Jaskier had never had anything like this and couldn’t even dream to be a part of something so close. And, well, if to enter this family he had to spend two weeks of his holidays in a prank war, he was up to a challenge.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, I want to thank all of you for your kudos and comments. Really, all your amazing support kept me going, and I'm glad I decided to publish this work in the end. I'm not done with this boys just yet, so let me know if you want to see more of them being crazy with each other.<br/>Stay safe and have a great time.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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